Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/18/2008

Question
QUESTION: First question: I'm interested in buying one or more of your books..could you tell me which one of your books would be best for explaining context..and are there a lot of example. I'm not saying i would copy them I just need to get a good idea about what context is. Like walking up to a girl and asking her out..that sort of area

ok question 2: What would be a good example of "context" if I said I wanted to date a girl in a fast food restaurant or and department store, or a mall? its just those 3 places i probably will need help on

ok well thank you for your time and i hope you reply back soon.

ANSWER: Hello Eric!

My second book "Being a Man in a Woman's World II" goes into context in great depth including examples, but examples are only good for an idea of how to create context - not what context to use. This is simply because context is unique to every single situation.

With that said, I recommend that you read "Being a Man...I" first, as the concepts in the second book pick right up from the first. The good news is that you can get a pretty nice discount by ording them together.

Unfortunately, you haven't given me enough information to build a context approach for you here. A location isn't exactly enough. Sure, you could walk up and say, "Do you come to this [restaurant/store/mall] often?", but as you see, it's pretty weak, and worse yet, will only illicite a "yes/no" response and where do you go from there?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: whoops i left out a detail by accident. i ment to say, what if this girl worked at one of those places that i listed above. Is it even a good idea to try to get a date with a girl who is working?. Because theres this girl i really want to go out with..she doesnt know me at all and she works at a fast food place. What do u mean when you say location isnt exactly enough? I lied when i said "those are the only places i'll need help on" lol..i kinda need help on all different places. Sorry bout all the question I just dont want to have a lot of dating failures in the future. Well i might have some but i just dont want as many. only one more question and that is, what kind of info do I/you need in order to build and context approach? can u give examples cuz then i might be able to give enough info for u to build me this approach.

ok well thank for your time and for the reply by the way and i hope you reply back soon.

ANSWER: Hello again Eric!

That's actually a very large question with tons of considerations to it. I'll leave the books to fill in the gaps for you.

I don't want you to have a bunch of dating failures in your future either. In order to assure that, get your education set right from the start rather than having to un-learn all these things down the road after a bunch of really rough experiences!

There's nothing wrong with approaching someone that is working, but keep in mind that you don't want to affect her job. Thus, you have to be clear, pithy and to the point.

This is a good example of why knowing a location isn't enough. If that's all you're going to go on, you might as well just memorize a bunch of dumb pick-up lines. They won't work for you at all (they never do), but at least it'll be easy to learn.

Even better, get the whole story rather than trying to do it piece-meal which simply leads to bunches of failures.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: ok..umm i think i'm kinda starting to get it..i've never planned on doing pick-up lines..my friend does those and he doesnt have a gf and he wonders why lol..anyways..u think u could just give one example of wut i would do exactly in a situation where..lets say i see this girl and shes by herself in a store or..well i did run by a girl on my way to work while she was just sitting on the grass not reading..just enjoying the sun..so wut would i do then in situations like those..by "those" i mean a girl basically alone shopping or whatever...sorry bout all the question again..i've already decided i'm gonna buy both those books "I" and "II"..but u think u can just give an example of wut to do in a situation like that.

well thank you for your time i'm probably getting you annoyed by now lol..but after i get your books you wont hear from me for quite some time. ok reply back soon thanks

Answer
Hey Eric!

Sure Eric, I can give you a pick-up line, but didn't we already agree that this wasn't going to work? If that's all you want, just search for "pick-up lines" on the Internet.

The problem is that you haven't given me anything of context to build the approach.

Instead, let me give you an example of one of my approaches. Just two days ago, I had to go to the DMV to get some new tags for my car. It was packed with tons of stressed people. As I was walking around waiting for my turn, this beauty (in her early 30's) came walking toward me in the distance. I had about 15 seconds to build an approach.

As she walked toward me our eyes met and I started walking toward her at the same time. We didn't lose our gaze as we met and both stopped in front of each other. I said, "Excuse me, but you're far too young to be operating a motor vehicle by yourself, but if you're looking for a driving-buddy, I may be able to help you out...if you're good."

She started to laugh and in just a minute and a half, I had her phone number - just as they called me.

Do you see how this worked? I used the location, the situation and even her apparent age in order to build instant context for the approach.

As I've already said, you can't memorize these things. You have to learn to think on your feet instead and make your approach poignant to the person and the situation.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"