Expert: Mark Rosmar - 4/22/2008

Question
Hey there, I need some advice... I am 16 years old in a small high school...

See, theres this girl that I like, but I don't know what to do. We talk and stuff, but not like hang out or anything. She hangs out with the "popular group (stupid kids with no future)". She's in two of my classes, and I sit next to her in both (which is coincidence). I'm a nice guy, I'm smart, good grades, I have a job, I play Tennis, I workout, in great shape.

But she goes for the Football players and the popular kids. I am quiet and pay attention in class, have my eyes set on my future. But once people get to know me and give me a chance, I'm a blast to hang out with. Its not like I'm ugly...well groomed, blonde hair blue eyes...But in class, I can't pay attention, because I keep thinking of her. She's gorgeous and fun to be around. But once again, she like the loud and obnoxious kids. I could picture myself spending the rest of my life with her (but I'm only 16, and don't really know if its a possibility).

I would approach her and let her know how I feel, but I don't know how she'll react. And here's the problem... I go to a small high school. My grade is about 200, school about 850-900. So its the type of thing, that if she said no, it would be around the school.

We don't hang out with the same group, so it's not like I see her at parties or anything.

But once again, I am the nice guy, smart, and have a future. And she goes for the rich popular kids who are at their high point now are only going downhill from here. But she doesn't look at things that way. I am the type who believes in hard work and respect, unlike the kids she hangs out with, who are all for partying, and living off their parents success. But once they get out into the real world, they're screwed.

What should I do?
Because the year is almost over, and I probably won't be in any of her classes next year b/c she is in all regular classes, as I will be in AP classes, and classes focused on LAW, while she taking fun classes, like cooking, and fashion. And I won't see her over the summer, so this might be my last chance.

it's not that I'm afraid of rejection, but I don't know what to do. I kind of find high school relationships pointless, but I want to become closer with her, and want her to see me as that type of guy that she thinks about in class.

I was thinking, if I saw her at all next year, ask her to the prom, because I will be driving then, and we could hang out, but that might be to late, and ONLY if I had classes with her and saw her.

I know this is probably the least of your concerns, a high school kid who wants some girl...But any help would be greatly appreciated. I would just like to become friendlier with her, and have her see me as "that guy".

Thank You For Your Help!

Answer
Hello John,

with the mental obstacles which you have created for yourself with this girl, there could probably only ever be real obstacles for you when you approach her.

Try meeting her the indirect way - through her girlfriends as she is probably never going to be miraculously drawn or attacted to you.

And remember, she's never going to see you in an exciting light unless you cast it.

Hope This Helps,

Mark Rosmar