Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/8/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hey doc I am wondering whether or not I should change the way I am for a girl that I want to be with I mean I always thought it was the wrong thing to do but now I am not so sure

thanks in advance

ANSWER: Hello (again) Stephen!??

Absolutely not. No way. Never. DO NOT change yourself to fit some girl!

There are quite a few reasons behind this, but just consider what it'd be like to try to keep this up over time. The level of stress alone would just tear you apart and that would bleed right over into any relationship you created with her.

NEVER change for someone else. If they don't see your value the way you are, that's their problem. Instead, only give your valuable time and attention to girls that understand you're perfect just the way you are.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thank you for the advice but I have another question how can if a girl is acting distant or to put it into better terms seems less interested and she is talking to another guy the same way she was talking to you (me) does that mean she has chosen someone else and is there hope for me to win her back?

ANSWER: Hello again Stephen!

Not necessarily. In fact, she may very well be trying to get you to be more masculine. The real answer however is that it doesn't matter in any case!

Why not? Simple: you can CREATE the attraction you want in any girl, BUT you have to get something going for yourself. You can't be like that pathetic guy in the bar that just sits there waiting for someone he can go up to and dance with. Then, he just turns around and sits down by himself looking for someone else.

You have to build something of a persona that is ATTRACTIVE to women. If you were talking to 3 other girls - and dating them - do you think she'd be so wishy-washy about all of this? She'd be wondering what THEY see in you; and trust me on this one Stephen, girls TALK.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thank you again but it seems that she has moved on but we are at least friends but now I wish to meet other women.  What are  some tips you can provide to talk to women without sounding or looking like a idiot?

Answer
Hey Stephen!

Two of them:

1) "Context". This is your reason to approach them and basically is just asking yourself a simple question: "What do she and I have in common at this very instance at this place at this time?" That is your reason to approach her.

2) Get her to talk about herself instead. See the FAQ's at my website for more on this.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"