Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/10/2008

Question
QUESTION: Ok well I've known this girl since 7th grade. I'm in 9th grade so 2 years. We're not that good of friends but I'm on the football and baseball team at school so me and my friends occasionally go out to the mall on Friday nights and she'll be there with us,so i do know her. I mean if i was walking down the hallway and she saw me, she'd say hi. Like i said I've liked her since 7th grade and i would like to go out with her(or just get to know her), whenever I'm around her i get really nervous and i am just stunned by her beuty.  But i get so nervous and I'm pretty shy. How should i get to know her better, how do i know when the time is right to ask her out, and how should i go about asking her out?

-James

ANSWER: Hello James!

Here's the right time to ask her out: RIGHT NOW!!! You've already known this girl for 2 freakin' years! What are you going to do, wait another 2 years until you build up enough courage to ask her out? By that time, she's very liable to be with someone else, and you'll be back on the 2-year plan.

Come on James. She's just a girl - really! She didn't create her looks - they were given to her for free. She's just another girl - really!

The very next time you see her, I want you to stop hesitating. Just promise yourself absolutely that you're going to stop her wherever you run into her be it at school or with friends at the mall or whatever, and just tell her "Hey, clear up next Friday and let's hang out - just you and me - so I can get to know you better."

It's easy, simple and proven effective! Waiting (like you have) is proven INeffective.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok i see what you mean. But what how should i go about asking her. I want this to be perfect! I also have another concern. When i usaually talk to her my nervous side comes out and theres those moments where nobody says anything. I'm not a very talkative person. What should i day and do to make this night perfect.

-James

Answer
Hello again James!

You don't "ask her" you TELL HER. Your invitation to hang out (which frankly, is a concept I hate!) isn't going to make her swoon for you. It's just the invitation and doesn't have to be "perfect". You want the date itself to go well so that she starts feeling attraction for you.

Your nervous side comes out because you're putting way too much effort into the asking. You don't have to be talkative at all and in fact, if you're smart, you're going to get HER to do all the talking by using open-ended questions. (See the FAQ's on my website under "Self Help".)

The less you say, the more "perfect" the night will be! She'll walk away thinking you're a communcation expert!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"