Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/29/2008

Question
Hello Dr Neder

I seem to get lost sometimes after Ive made an approach to a woman chatting about absolutely nothing at all, and cant seem to get the timing right when asking for her number / if they are attached etc. I seem to ask too quickly and maybe scare her off or bore her chatting to the point where I start to feel stupid (and she probably does too lets face it!!)


What clues / cues can you suggest to look for after randomly approaching a woman in terms of timing it right to move from "ice breaking" to getting a number or making your move.

Appreciate you taking the time to look at this. Ps I wish I was doing my PhD on how to score with women. I think your COOL.

cheers

Liam


Answer
Hello Liam!

Actually, this is pretty common. The problem either is that you're not building enough rapport and connection before closing or that you're waiting too long to close.

Think of it this way: the purpose of the approach is to generate attraction. Most guys get this wrong - they think they only should approach women that are already attracted to them.

I teach my students to use communication systems in order to both build rapport and connection (leading to attraction) and to discover her interests to what's going on. Thus, once you have the keys you're looking for, you pull the trigger by asking for (actually, telling her to give you) her digits.

One of the most important things to do is to close too early. In other words, just the minute you start getting that sign of her interests, you stop and say, "Well, it's been nice talking to you, here, write down your number and I'll call you later so we can do this again sometime." In effect, you leave her at a high-point.

If you're really interested in your Ph.D in all of this, check out my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" as they go into all of this in great depth.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"