Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/10/2008

Question
ok.. i am a 20 yr old female who has a friend that is in need of help in the dating world.. ive tried helping him by telling him that confidence is the big key factor in the process.. & honestly that is his problem.. he has lil or no confidence about himself.. cuz he's been hurt so many times, n he's afraid of getting hurt or rejected.. AGAIN!!.. he's not the type of guy that is after SEX cuz thats not him at all..he asked me and my husband how to talk to girls.. n how to approach them.. n well we are at a loss.. cuz me n my husband met in a interesting way..so that doesnt help him n anyway possible.. so if u could please help me help him.. cuz he is like a brother to me n my husband n we would like to see him happy!!

Answer
Hello Kelli!

I'm very proud of your love and consideration for your friend in trying to help him. I'll say this about confidence; that while your heart is certainly in the right place, confidence is NOT the key even though it seems that way. Nobody is confident - really confident. We all; you, me, your husband and your friend only get to "rent" confidence at different times. The key is knowing how to sign the lease!

I don't do "pass throughs" like this however simply because:

1) It's one thing to give advice but yet another to explain how someone else can pass it along in a way that is effective;
2) It's far too easy to be misinterpreted because you and your friend speak very different languages due to your gender differences; and,
3) If he's really ready in his life to get this solved, HE needs to seek it out. We all take better care of the car we buy ourselves rather than the one that is rented or given to us for nothing.

I suggest you do this:

Give your friend my website (http://beingman.com) and my email address (dwneder@beingaman.com) and have him write to me directly. If he's really ready, he'll take that simple step on his own. I'll take him under wing and we'll get his problems solved - permanently.

This guy is one lucky bastard having friends like you!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"