Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/22/2008

Question
Hi Dr. Neder. There's this girl that I really like for the last four months but I haven't told her how I feel. I know she likes me and I feel that way too much time has passed but I am too nervous. What is the best way to ask her out or reveal my feelings to her without making her feel uncomfortable and not make myself look like an ass?

Answer
Hello Josh!

DO NOT "reveal your feelings"!!! If you do, you'll never have another chance with this girl ever again!! You WILL make her feel uncomfortable and you WILL look like an ass!!!

Josh, the only reason you want to out yourself here is that you're hoping by doing so (the easy way out) that she'll do your work for you and you won't have to figure out how to build everything. The reality is that it's YOUR job to build things and she knows it. You can't get out of that by "revealing your feelings" for her.

Instead, you're going to have to man-up and go tell her you want to go out on a date. It seems like a big deal right now, but trust me, it's not. It's easy. Just tell her to clear Friday night and that you and she will hang out.

Then, when you go on your date, turn on the charm, but don't try to spend a fortune or go nuts. The importance of the date is to get to know her better. It's more like an interview. Do something fun and relax.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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