Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/10/2008

Question
i'm fat , and i got bad breath.What can i do to ask my friend a.k.a the girl of my dreams out?

Answer
Hello Ryan!

Start by brushing your teeth, getting in shape and getting your attitude straightened out!

Why would you start a letter like this. You may as well have said, "I'm a loser and I want to be with the woman of my dreams."

Ryan, I don't know you, but I know this: you're not a loser. Being fat and having bad breath are extremely simple problems to solve. Having low self-esteem and being fearful aren't as easily solved, but they CAN be solved.

So, now I have to ask you: why is this girl your "friend"? Don't answer that, I already know: you were too much of a coward to simply walk right up and tell her what you wanted so you befriended her instead hoping that she'd see what a great guy you are and she'd do all your work for you, take all the risks and you wouldn't have to suffer with any rejection.

Ryan, get your head out of your ass right now: this NEVER, EVER works! I get letters every single day from guys just like you that have tried this same, dumb thing and failed.

Let me tell you what you need to do:

You need to get to work on your self-esteem. You need to lose the weight (because it's an obvious source of your problem - not that it's a problem for girls however) and start caring for your teeth. Once you do these things, your self-esteem will start to grow.

As your SE grows, you'll start to realize that any girl would be lucky to be with you because you have so much to offer. You won't try to become her friend because if she can't see your value, that won't be your problem at all, it'll be hers. You'll simply move on to the next girl trying to find that diamond that can see clearly.

Doesn't that sound like a much better way to live? It is!

What'll happen then is that you'll call your "friend" up and say, "You know, it's time we move this to the next level. Clear up Friday night and we're going out on a real date because we both deserve it."

This is where you need to start Ryan. As you begin this process, go to my website and watch the video on friends under BAM TV and read my FAQ's under Self Help for much more on this.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"