Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/28/2008

Question
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QUESTION: I seem to attract A LOT of married men with kids. In fact, that's ALL I attract. Single guys.

Is there anything about myself that I can change so that horny married guys won't come after me and single ones will?

It seems like every "good" guy I meet who seems interested in me...is already taken!

I need the tools to go out and approach single men, I know they are out there every where!

Possibly it's coincidence? I keep running into married men becuase they show me a lot of interest because they are 'safe' perhaps

ANSWER: Hey Jaci!

I don't know you well enough to say. I've never seen you or how you dress or how you act and thus, I can't say specifically what might be causing you to attract these guys. Could it possibly be that you're not attracting them, but they're attracting you??? Something to think about.

I agree - I think every woman needs to know how to approach men. In fact, it's something I'm working on right now - a new e-book: "How Women Can Approach Men" because frankly, you have a lot of tools that guys don't even have! Check my website for availability.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I dress classy but sexy! And guys tell me "you give off a really sexual vibe"

So hmm...maybe that's what attracting these married men, they are bored with their current wives, horny, lonely, and out looking for something new to bang?

Where are all the single lonely men? Are they hiding or what ;-)

YOUR BOOK SOUNDS GREAT ALL US LADIES NEED TO READ IT DAMMIT hahahahha...

u right us ladies have SOOO many tools you guys dont have...first of all our beauty, curves, our sexy bodies, our feminity...then men have a NEED to pursue women...

so if we knew how to use these tools (NOTE I DO NOT MEAN WOMEN SHOULD MANIPULATE I mean USE)

i swear we could get almost any guy we want - and make some men very happy one day!!! if we knew how to make him happy!!!!

Yo! Jaci!

I couldn't agree more. The first step is finding him, but the second, far larger step is keeping him happy. Otherwise, he'll be one of those guys on the training hitting on young, hot women.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Or old, ugly women! Many a time, the one who is cheated on and left for is the beautiful young successful woman who is left for the undesirable one (looks wise at least)

many people are surprised!

and usually it is a lady who is kind of slutty too, becuase she knows how to keep a man sexually interested in her. I am not saying that this lasts forever, but it will last a while...as long as the sex is good..of course once that is over it's kaput...and hes back on the prowl for another girl!

So I think...women should find out what makes a man happy...and GIVE IT TO HIM GOOD...especially where marriage is concerned, they should go out of their way to make their husband happy!

and if he likes her he will try to make her happy too!!

and oh yeah a good sex life is important.

But i think some people who have great sex...still their marriage fails...because they neglect other areas?

and then also, Dennis, I think it is important to find someone who really loves you, and likes having conversations with you and REALLY genuinely likes what you're interested in!

because they say opposites attract, but in the end...if the man and the woman have a lot in common there are LESS FIGHTS!!

An elderly woman once told me "marriage is like a 300 hour car trip with no radio! you and he have to be good conversationalists!"

So what do you think Dennis.

I like chill, laid back, drama free guys!

I have had a lot of men nag and nag and nag me, and all it does is cause frustration and fights!

So thats what happens when women nag men too after the marriage.

I think chill laid back drama free types of men should be with chill laid back drama free women!

ONe last thing

Well, you know how women nag and nag their husbands to take out the trash, help clean the house, etc? common complaints

Well they did this study, and it showed that when men helped take out the garbage, washed dishes, etc WITHOUT the wives telling them...

their sex life shot up! the wives were very happy and it improved their marriage!

So maybe what u are telling me...is the same principle..only reverse

that women should seek out what makes men happy BEFORE HAND and BEFORE problems occur :)

Answer
Hellooooo Jaci!

You know why those beauties lose their guys to otherwise "less desirable" women? Simple: the beauties aren't doing their jobs at home and the other girls just pick up where they leave off.

I think there's a lesson there somewhere.

In fact, I have absolutely no qualms telling guys to do exactly this! If the girl at home isn't taking care of the relationship as it deserves to be cared for, that's not the guy's fault (as long as he's doing HIS job too!)

Here's the reality: no man that is satisfied at home will ever stray. Frankly, he's not going to have the energy!

On the other hand, how fucking stupid is it for some girl to "play" her guy by denying him sex or anything he wants for that matter? Answer: it's way, WAY stupid! She just sends him out in the world with his trigger cocked. He's going to point that loaded weapon right at the first girl he sees that smiles at him.

...and while women want to blame the guy, that's even more dumb behavior. The person that is 100% responsible, is the woman. Period.

If fact, it's actually very rare for people that have a great sex life to fail in their relationships or marriage - even if they're bad! On the flip side, even an otherwise good marriage will rarely survive if the sex life is lousy.

Men and women nag for different reasons. Men nag because you put up a wall. Women nag because the guy isn't being the man in the relationship and she has to be him instead. These are totally different reasons.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"