Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/5/2008

Question
i started to develop feelings for one my best female friend. ive know her for almost 4 years, and just recently, i told her how i felt about her. she didnt have the same feelings for me back, but she still wants to be friends with me. i find it hard to hang out with her now cause she has a lot of guy friends, and sometimes i feel like she likes them more than me. its been about 2 weeks since i told her, and we havent hung out just the two of us ever since then. what can i do to attract my friend, and make her want me? she already knows how i feel, so now i just want to prepare myself for the future. what should i do?

Answer
Hello Eddy!

What should you do? Dump this friend and go find a girlfriend - then, don't become her friend first!

Eddy, here's the reality: as soon as you become a woman's friend, you'll never, ever be anything else to her. Women have a built-in mechanism to prevent anything else from happening.

Even worse, you told her how you felt. You did this because you didn't want to take the risk of trying to move things forward and being rejected and just hoped that she'd do all your work for you.

I see this same question every day and I see it always end badly. The reality is that the friendship as you knew it is over and you have no more chance for anything else.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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