Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/19/2008

Question
well I'm the starting Wide reciever for the freshman football team. i play baseball and made the all-tournament team in my world series which had 60 teams in it and they only accepted 9.I'm an awesome guitarist and write my own songs. I think I'm an ok looking guy. Why don't girls notice me? my friends are the most popular guys in school yet i just seem to blend in. how can i get in with the girls in my school and let them know that I'm here? im pretty shy though, thats part the problem.i know i didnt ask a question about just 1 girl. but can u please still help.


thanks, chris

Answer
Hello Chris!

No, being shy isn't part of the problem - it's THE problem.

Acting shy comes off as insecure to most people. You have all these great things going for yourself, but you are your own worst cheerleader! You just assume that other people should notice what a great guy you are, but let's face it - they're way too busy worrying about how THEY look than to worry about how you look.

Remember: shyness is a CHOICE, NOT AN AFFLICTION! You CHOOSE to be and act shy, nobody created it for you.

It's good that you're proud of what you're doing, but you've got to express that pride outwardly. There's a balance between being a pompous ass that's full of himself and someone that's proud of what he's doing and can express that with calm confidence.

That's all it takes to go from where you are now to someone that people, (even, *gasp* GIRLS!) notice. Stop choosing to be shy and start being outward, engaging and fun. Make eye contact and talk to people. Walk around school like you own the place and all the people there are invited to your party.

Things will change pretty dramatically - trust me!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
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