Expert: Ana - 5/23/2008

Question
QUESTION: hello there, my name is Aneez i am 26 Male my girlfriend's name is Lucya & she is 27. this past weekend we had agreed to spend the weekend together and it went great. we did couple things, listened to music, i made her some compilation music, went out to dinners...etc on Monday she calls me and tells me she's going to Wellington and tells me she no longer loves me and that she has a new boyfriend yet we've been together for nearly 8 months. i've done so much for her & really treated her well. bought her nice anniversary gifts, she never once paid for dinner. i feel really hurt and have tried to call her to get some clarification on the matter but have not been able to. what can i do to cope. the sad part is that i really miss her and the photographs that i look at hurt. i am on face book and you can view them as well as my other passion for photography here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?
How do I cope, I am finding it hard & I miss her even though she hurt me. I feel like there is no other one apart from her. She told me she loved me too??

ANSWER: OH MY GOD WHAT A BITCH!!! I would NEVER do that to a guy!!!

I'm soooooooooo sorry this happened to you Aneez. You are such a sweet guy and deserve so much better.

She doesn't deserve to ever speak to you again. Do not ever associate yourself with a trashy, low class woman like this in the future.

Delete her number from your phone. Throw out her photos. Delete everything of hers from your computer. Throw everything of hers. You need to completely CLEAN yourself of her.

You did so many nice things for her and she never once appreciated you! Then she snuck around your back with another guy! That's ridiculous. You deserve better! You deserve a woman who wants to be with you, won't cheat on you, and appreciates you!!!

Do you know the same thing happened to me? I was very much in love with one man, did a lot of nice things for him. We were very much in love and very happy. Then he suddenly dumped me and I found out there was another woman the entire time. He was sneaking behind my back and having sex with her. The woman was really ugly, promiscuous, and had a bad personality too. Whereas I am a very nice person and a very beautiful girl. It made no sense. I was sooooooo hurt for a long time.

Yes, these things take quite an amount of time to get over.

Do not doubt yourself. You are an honest, sincere person, and she is not. Right there is the problem. YOU HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON!!!

She is never coming back to you now that she has a new boyfriend. She wants nothing to do with you so that is why she dumped you. So now YOU DUMP HER.

Delete this stupid girl from your life. Never talk to her again. Never miss her again.

Look, you are on planet earth and there are 7 billion people. So many thousands of girls who would love you, adore you, respect you, be faithful to you, treat you kindly right?

Why should you waste time on this bitch?

Give yourself a few days to cry and feel bad. Then, tell your guy friends to take you out somewhere nice.  Some nice dinners, restaurants, movies, clubs, bars, whatever. Talk to as many different women as possible.

You will see how many beautiful women there are in this world who are kind to you. Some will be mean, but many will be good to you.

So in some time, you can start dating again when you are ready.

From your letter, you have such a good heart, you will find a woman who makes you CRAZY HAPPY. But you will have to find her. This one will never make you happy. The woman who will make you happy is out there searching for you too!!!

Do not worry, do not worry. This happens to EVERYONE. There is nothing wrong with you, it is just simply impossible to judge a person's character without dating them for a while. You just dated the wrong girl. There was no way to know that in advance. You did nothing wrong and you are not a stupid man. She was just all wrong for you. Why do you think so many people get divorced?

Feel free to write back. Do not feel sad about this! There are so many happy things in this world. You are a healthy, young man! Your whole life is ahead of you!

Focus on your success, go out and have fun with your friends, meet some new women, and you will find yourself MUCH happier without her!

Take care,
Ana :)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you Ana but man it hurts like hell today! I've thought about how to get over this, write a book on life experiences, do a song or move to a New Country & just have a holiday.

Answer
I know honey! I know! Remember I went through the SAME thing as you. It hurt sooooooooooo bad. I treated him so well and he back stabbed me like this? To go behind my back with another woman? I was just shocked. It's been years and I still don't understand. But now I've met like a ton of guys who are CRAZY about me...so I've even forgotten his name.

You need to chill, then go out when you're ready and meet other girls. You should be excited and looking forward to your next girlfriend who will treat you right. There's tons of hot girls out there who will.

Give yourself some time to grieve, and then go back out on the prowl :)

Good luck!
-Ana