Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/28/2008

Question
QUESTION: You know, I sit and observe my classmates from time to time. And i notice some things.

There are a lot of girls in our class that are fat and ugly. Whenever a really hot, beautiful tall slim girl walks in, and before she can even say much, these ugly fat women immediately start attacking her and being nasty to her and calling her names, trying to find her faults and knock her down.

It's not just once or twice, I noticed this in every job or class I've taken.

Ugly fat women are just really mean to beautiful skinny women with hot bodies.

Why is that?

ANSWER: Hello Mike!

The reason for it is this: looks are women's currency in the dating world. Men's currency is confidence, by the way.

The problem is this: you (as a man) have to EARN your confidence, but women don't usually have to earn their looks. Of course, they have to maximize them by taking care of themselves, properly using makeup, etc., but the foundational beauty is something they inherit. Thus, women with natural beauty raise the bar for those that lack it.

Combine this with the fact that many women let themselves go and these same girls just get angry with their sister's natural assets with whom they have to compete for men.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I totally agree! Now I have one more interesting thing I noticed: the ugly fat girls all have boyfriends or husbands! In fact, most of them are happily married to really good looking, powerful, charismatic men in their lives, not ugly guys either.

The beautiful girl can either be single or have a man, but usually she is single and lonely...and the married women attack.

I notice these ugly fat women in relationships STILL are mean to the beautiful ones. Even with the men firmly standing by her side.

Now what is the reason for this one?

Are they afraid of losing their men to the hot girl? the hot girl expresses no interest in their men, and their husbands don't seem to express much interest in the hot girl either. So they are not necessarily competing for the man.

So why is the nasty rude complex still happening with the fat ugly ladies then? Why all the resentment to the hot girl when they have a hot man at home who is crazy about them and won't leave them?

Sorry for all the questions, but it's all so weird to me..

oh yeah and sure, us men do it too...but not at this extreme scale.

ANSWER: Hello again Mike!

First of all, FUGs learn one key: compensation. Whereas beauties often don't have to work as hard on their own personalities (which also gives these girls even more reason to go after them), FUGs have to build real skills. They are often better at keeping a man than beauties are.

However, that doesn't mean that they don't feel competitive even if the guy sticks with them. Understand that this competitiveness isn't just about the environment, in fact, it's programmed into them biologically. There was a time when larger "rubinesque" women were the beauty standard, and as you'll find from historic writings, they were often the target of scorn and ridicule.

In fact, ALL women need to learn these skills regardless of how they look. Many women write to me and tell me how beautiful they are, but still can't get a man to hang around. Instantly, I know the problem - they bring nothing to the table. They've spent the majority of their lives focusing on their looks rather than building all the other skills.

The reality is that right now is the very best these women are ever going to look! In fact, time and gravity are not kind to women. It behooves women to build these skills from early on, but then, most people are lazy and will take the easiest path.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Let's say a man is married to an average or ugly woman.

He meets a drop dead gorgeous beautiful woman who has more in common with him than his wife does. They are on the same wavelength.

Often times this leads to an affair.

BUT the affair is not necessarily because the woman is beautiful. In fact, he would have easily had the same affair if the same woman was ugly as well.

What is the reason that the married man would leave the wife and run after the other woman?

thank you

Answer
Hey Mike!

Man! Aren't you full of ugly-verse-beautiful questions!

Let's turn this around; let's say that he's married to a beauty and meets a woman that's less attractive - he's still just as likely to have an affair!

Looks attract initially, but there are other things that draw people together - and even keep them together.

The most common reason for this; regardless of the looks of the wife are that he's not getting sexually satisfied at home. That's the lesson I try to beat into women: never let your man leave the house with his trigger cocked!

Of course, companionship and other factors are there too.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"