AboutDr. Dennis W. Neder Expertise I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 20,000 letters from readers from all over the world.
I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com
Experience My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but half my readers are women and I've very experiened in giving the male perspective on men and helping women understand us better.
Education/Credentials Ph.D
Past/Present clients Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.
i used to be realy good friends with this guy joel. him and i started being friends back in january and we were hanging out a lot because i had no other friends. joel was engaged to his long time girlfriend and was very much in love with her. so him and i hung out a lot and i thought he was a cool guy but i noticed whenever we went out, he was really aggressive and realy realy flirty with all the ladies, even married women, that we would meet on the streets he would just start hitting on them. he was aggressive and just didnt' care that everyone was staring at him, and i foudn it strange that he had a fiance but would basically be so sexualy forward with every single woman he talked to. seemed to me to be a bit disrespectful to his girlfriend/fiance.
so all of january and february we hung out a lot. then in february he kissed me on the bus and grabbed my breasts and butt when he was drunk. i pushed him away. but i didnt yell at him becuase the bus was full of eveyrone at my school. and i didnt want everone at school to be gossiping about it, so i didnt cause a scene.
plus it would be more gossip because this guy has a fiance and if word got around that he kissed me, it might start rumors and drama.
so after march we kinda stopped hanging out as much.
now it is june and him and his girlfriend have called off the engagement (no surprise there)
so now he is caling me and texting me and emailing me constantly and sending me gifts on facebook and myspace constantly.
when he calls me, i was on the other line so i couldnt pick it up. i looked at my cell later and saw that he had called me 6 times.
one day i was getting off the bus and he followed me off the bus and asked where i was going. i said the grocery store, and he said ok ill come with you. i said you have to get stuff? he said no, im coming to carry your groceries for you. i said, no, its gonna take me a long time, like hours, because i have to get a lot of stuff, id rather do it alone because otherwise youl be wiating aroudn forever. he said no, ill wait as long as i can for you. so he followed me around the entire store as i got groceries and i was getting annoyed, but oh well at least he helped me carry them.
so now he keeps calling me. i never returned any of his calls.
so i didnt see or hear from him for weeks.
so yesterdya i was going to get groceries, and i was walking back home with the groceries, and he was walking up the hill the oppsoite way and we crossed paths. he said "i'll give you a call tonight" and kept on walking wihtout waiting to hear my answer.
then he called me like 10 times that night but i couldnt pick up because i was on the other line on an international call and i coudnt hang up.
ok. i like him as a friend. but nothing more.
how do i get him to stop caling me?
also, the thing is he was SO nice to me at the beginning of the year, and he was my only friend. i dont want him to think that im ungrateful for his friendship or something.
like how do i tell him to back the fuck off...without making him go home and cry.
???
ANSWER: Hello Alana!
Easy, stop being his friend! As long as you remain his friend, you continue to give him hope that you'll sleep with him. Let's be clear about this: that's what this guy wants. He figures he can just wear you down.
To make him back the fuck off, you've got to tell him to fuck off. Don't worry about him going home and crying. That's his problem (to grow up, obviously) not yours. Frankly, this is probably the most humane thing you can do for him! You wouldn't cut a dog's tail off piece by piece would you? Of course not! You'd get to it and get it over with! So do the same thing for your "friend".
Tell him that there is no way you are EVER going to date or sleep with him under any circumstances ever. You don't even need to give him a reason and if he asks just tell him it's none of his business. You've made up your mind and you're not going to change it - ever. He can't ever have you and there is nothing in the world that will make any difference in that.
Alana, you need to be just this clear and just this direct or he's going to continue to bug the shit out of you. It's obvious he doesn't get the subtle message.
Just say NO!
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826 http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Remember how I told you he was really aggressive with women, even when he had a fiance? And that he kissed me and grabbed my butt and breasts even while he was still with her?
So does that also mean, that let's say I did find this guy attractive, and we did date and things got serious...would that mean that he would still be going around hitting on other girls after me?
Answer Hello again Alana!
Wait just a cotton-pickin' minute here. What's really going on? Do you like this guy or not? Are you interested in him for real or do you just like all the attention you're giving him?
Let's come clean here Alana. What do you want - him gone or in your bed???? You can't have both.
I don't know this guy, but he seems like a real jackass. I'm not making that assessment based on him and his fiancé either. The only people that really know what was going on there were him and her.
On the other hand, he does seem pretty disrespectful and if that turns you on, so be it. Go bang his lights out and you'll find out pretty quickly where he is. If you don't like this then cut him loose.
Sheesh!!!
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
818.334.8826 http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
