Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 7/14/2008

Question
Hey Dennis,
i am in a very weird situation in wich i have been seeing my ex girlfriend best friend. It all started us being really good friends, she would call me everyday we would talk for hrs sometimes and slowly but surely i started to have feelings for her and she mentioned to me a few times that she did also but then she moved a few hrs aways so this is when the confusion starts i then stoped talking to her and we both moved on she was seing someone else and now 4 months later she calls me and prety much tried to make it obious that she was single then days passed by and she started calling me again, like before. At first it was kind of weird but then again i enjoy her so much that i didnt minde it. So a friday night came and in a conversation i mentioned that she should come visit so she took me sirious and came that verry same night wich she is at about a 5hr driveing distance, which to me seemed like she was going out of her way a little, when she got hear though she was kind of giving me the cold shoulder i dont know if she was playing the hard to get or she is trying to keep our relationship as how it was a first just friends?
so the night came and i made my move to try and kiss her and she didnt stop but she kept pausing and saying no but then she wouldnt stop kissing me ether and it was a struggle but it all led to us haveing sex that night,
so this is pretty much the girl that knows everything about me and is prettymuch the girl i would like to spend the effort and time into makeing it a good relationship
but its just hard to figure out how to play the cards?  should i keep her as a friend or just move on? or is this something that with a little effort i can turn it into wat i want?

Answer
Hello Sam!

A 5-hour drive? Going out of her way? Uhhh..do you think???

This thing with her going forward and then pulling back is called "Last Minute Resistance" ("LMR"). It's a game that almost every single woman you'll ever meet plays. It's designed to help her not feel like a slut!

Here's she drove 5-hours to meet you and have sex. She's worried that she looks too interested, too easy, etc. For the future, just be aware of this with women and do what you did - just acknowledge the LMR and continue moving forward. If she really can't she'll tell you clearly "no".

Now, the big problem here is that she's 5-hours away! How in the hell are you ever going to build anything with this girl? Answer: you can't. This is a huge mistake and you're going to suffer because of it, trust me.

Go to my website (http://beingaman.tv) and click on Videos. Then, click on Self Help and watch the video about LDR's (Long-Distance Relationships).

It's a total and complete waste of your time.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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