Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 7/16/2008

Question
Dennis,
  I am tired of being in the situation where i find a girl i actually like, however their always in the middle of having feelings for a guy who appears to be abusive a jerk or a jealous type from the information they tell me about, this usually leaves me waiting for them on end to find out they chose them and ended up hurt in the long run.

The situation i am currently in:
I've meet someone i really can relate to and i see a lot of potential for a normal relationship. but she has been talking to a guy on the Internet who lives about 2 hrs away and granted she hasn't made any commitment to them she wants to wait till she's met him in person. and right now she's telling me shes having a lot of issues with him being jealous not approving of her hanging out with other guys and that they don't see a lot of things on the same page. different views about hatred and other things.

Normally in this situation I'd be there for them as much as i can and sit back and wait for them to make their decision providing as much non biased advice as possible. and it usually leaves me wasting weeks - months on end without anything to show *Typically they stop talking to me after engaging into a relationship with the other person in question.* I am done with waiting and being left high and dry. i want to be able to sweep her off her feet and have her forget about this other guy. I've been doing everything in my power to spend time with her nearly every day since i started talking with her. Movies, dinner, you name it. and I'll go as far as holding hands or letting her cuddle with me. i want to know what i can do to make her forget about this other guy without scaring her off.

She's told me right now her feelings are confused that she doesn't quite know what she wants. How do i seal the deal

Answer
Hello Dan!

Sorry for the late reply - my system crashed.

What in the hell are you doing waiting???

I just said this to someone else on this board: we; just like all the animals of the world, compete with each other for the same resources - including women. If you're waiting around, you're not competing, you're waiting for someone to give you their scraps. That's not good enough for you!

That's EXACTLY the reason why you're getting nowhere with these women!

You're the man here, (right?) and thus, it's your job to set the course and to take her here. TELL her that she's being ridiculous holding out for someone long-distance that treats her like crap. Then ask her, "Is that all you're worth, because I thought better, but I've been wrong before."

Then tell her to knock of this ridiculous crap, kick that loser to the curb and be ready on Friday night at 8 pm when you're gong to pick her up and show her how real men act.

Dan - stop settling for whatever is left over! Go get your share.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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