Expert: Ana - 7/27/2008

Question
Hello!

Well, I have a little dilemma. I know a girl, well, I have known her for a year now, but we didn't see each other too much.

Then, around May this year, we started talking more, she stated herself that she currently has no boyfriend and then asked if I was interested, she quickly dismissed it as a joke. She flirted with me a lot, but again, I wasn't interested because, well, I was insecure. We went out a couple of times, we understand each-other very good.

Then, it struck me that I wanted to be with her, not just because she is beautiful, but just because its her, there is a band, so yeah, I guess I fell in love.  

Then, on vacation in Croatia ( I went with my parents, she with my friends ), she again showed interest by throwing pebbles at me, giggling while doing it, writing our names on my back with suntan lotion...

So, on the last day, I decided to ask her whats up, because when I tried to come closer in the last few days, she pushed me back, you know, hold her hand and the likes. Then, she dropped the bomb, "I like you, but only as a good friend.". I asked why not more, she couldn't really reply to that.

So, I don't know what happened there. She must have quickly changed her mind about me. I sure didn't about her...

Now I'm thinking, what is the best thing to do in this situation? Ignore her, be her friend as she would like it, keep trying. I really want to be with her, I doubt that will go away any time soon, but it seems more and more impossible.

What do you suggest? I really hope you can help me with this.

Thank you,
Cheers!

Answer
Hey Mike,

Sorry to hear about this, but yeah it happens to me with guys all the time.

If I were you, I'd just back off, leave her alone, and start dating other women. That's what she wants you to do, because she doesn't like you anymore. I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do about this situation.

And the reason why I told you to distance yourself from her was because you have feelings for her, so it would make it very hard for you to be 'just friends' that is impossible to do at this point. You'll never be friends with this girl. That bridge was burned a long time ago.

So from now on, start dating other women. When you see her, just act casual and polite, like nothing happened.

Hey it's her fault, right? She's the one who told you that she doesn't like you that way.

Go find another woman who WANTS to be with you.

Later,
Ana