Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/13/2008

Question
Hello,
Just curious of your opinion on balancing the 7 chakras to improve confidence, presence, and overall "inner-game" when it comes to life and especially dating.
I have studied techniques on how to meet women and applied them as well, but that paradigm of "learning tactics and skills to meet girls through self-help" always felt "off" and subconsciously feed my system that I was not enough just as I was and that I needed external behaviours and memorized stories and social masks to cover up who I really was; bandaids over the root problem. I have noticed in myself that this approach caused me to seek validation which is def. unattractive (for the tactics, stories, conscious awareness of body language), a more eager intent to control everything, self-blame if it doesn't work out, and the development of an overall unhealthy attitude towards and unpleasant feelings of outcome dependence in general social interactions.

Some of the things that the chakras teach us to feel that could improve relationships and social interactions include feeling that you are enough just as you are, self-acceptance and unconditional love for the self, better communication and speaking your truth (honesty). I have noticed that taking this "inside-out" approach has improved my social life due to the fact that you start treating yourself better and having more respect for the self, dropping a lot of outcome dependence and need for validation and approval and since the world is your mirror, you attract people with higher self-esteem as well.

My question is - what techniques/practice do you recommend for building a solid foundation and confidence that will ultimately help success with the opposite sex and life in general?

Thank you in advance,
Roman

Answer
Hello Roman!

The reason why learning "tactics" feels "off" is because you're trying to find techniques - not improve your inner game - the REAL answer to meeting women and building relationships in my opinion.

I'm also not a big supporter of eastern mysticism such as chakra balancing. I believe in working with your own (and your target's) internal wiring - the things you can pre-programmed with in order to build your game.

What I will say however is this: even a broken watch is right twice a day. If you find any system that you believe in and apply, it's going to work for you to some degree.

I teach my students about the foundations of the female (and male!) psyche. I teach them communication systems that psychologists and others use in order to both interpret what is being said (and specifically, what it means) and how to create the outcomes you want through them. These are based in science however, not mysticism. More important, they deal with the way you're already wired and thus, you don't have to change things or memorize techniques or lines in order to make them work. They just feel natural because they ARE natural - and thus, easily integrated into anyone's persona and game.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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