Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/14/2008

Question
hey Doc,

I would like to know if you have any advice to attract women while in high school if it will help with your answer I am 17 going to be 18 and am about to start my senior year in high school.  I would like to know if there is anything I should or should not do like change my style in clothing or taste in music.

thanks in advance

Stephen  

Answer
Hello Stephen!

Actually, yes I do!

High school has it's own set of rules that don't directly translate to the rest of the world. People at your age are going through a lot of different changes and in fact, you can exploit much of that to your advantage.

Most of the girls at school are trying to establish just who they'll eventually become but they do it under a specific structure created because their friends are doing the same thing. This actually leaves them with few clear choices.

The first thing you need to do is to ask yourself what types of girls you're attracted to. Obviously, girls with breasts, right? The problem is that's not specific enough. Try to not think of girls that are "attractive", but instead think of what attributes these girls have that you're interested in. For instance, are they smart? Are they into sports? Are they into a particular "click"? Are they into school and activities? Are they planning on going to college? Etc.

Try to define a type of girl first. You'll be saving yourself a lot of time and effort because you can direct your "marketing" to your target audience rather than having to try the "scatter gun approach" which simply wastes lots of time.

Once you do this, the next step is to decide how to best target that market. Your clothes will help you here and you want to try to match the market itself rather than to try to convince them to find you appealing. Your public attitude (regardless of how you really feel inside) is another thing you want to craft. Create a "persona" that fits this market too. You can put on that persona any time you need it. This is the "person" that will become part of the group(s) that these girls are attracted to. By narrowing down your market, you're going to have much better success.

Next, you want to become part of that group. Make some new friends within it and get to know what they do, where they go, etc. You'll start getting invited to parties and to just hang out.

There was a movie a number of years ago where the nerd character says to the hot girl, "If you're going to be a dickhead, be the king of the dickheads." That's pretty good advice. Not only do you want to become part of the groups, but you want to start being seen as the main player in the group. Girls will pick up on this. It's the same tools they'll use later on (after high school) to find men they're attracted to as well.

Finally, as you start getting recognized, start learning the techniques to approach these girls yourself and to "close them" too. It's as much about your work as your positioning.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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