Expert: Mark Rosmar - 8/16/2008

Question
i started school about two months back. and on the second day of school, i noticed this girl. i am a very loud guy and makes fun of practically anything. so i managed to go up and talk to her.. cracking some silly jokes. we continued chatting, but in groups. about a week or two later, i realised that i kept thinking of her. the way she laughed, smiled and just for being her.. and that was when i realised that i actually felt something. having been out of a relationship for more than 5 yrs, i think i might have fallen too fast, but the way i felt around her was amazing.. when we shared eye contact, something inside me went soft. it was about a month after we met that i told her that i actually like her. too fast? i dont know, but i dont seem to regret. we spend sometime talking on the phone and slowly, i realised that she was what i have been looking for. the only thing is, she plays the 'hot-cold' game with me. like we can be talking on the phone tonight, and tomorrow, in school, she will be rather distant. our group of friends know how i feel, and i dont know if that is a reason for her to hold back. i have been nothing but honest with her, maybe too honest. and then we had some sort of a tiff, and didnt talk for 2 days. the longest 2 days in my life. but then that was resolved. she did mention she just recently got out of a relationship and her ex wasnt really very nice.

we continued to chat on the phone, and hang out in groups. there were times when she followed me to meet my own group of friends, people she didnt know. those times were beautiful. because, i would get her undivided attention. but when we hang with the classmates, she would seem distant.

she mentioned once that she had thought of accepting me, but i heard just couple of days ago that she cant see us being together from a good friend of ours. just that i am not her type. and another thing is that she usually falls for a guy, not the guy falling for her. she hasnt told me this yet, but hinted that she wanted to tell me something important.

i guess i really want her to be happy. i too, wanna be happy. i really want to carry on chasing after her, but i am aware that sometimes, that may get annoying. but i dont want to give up without a fight. i am really at a lost for what to do...

Answer
Thanks for your letter Shawn,

You need to lean back a little.

Sometimes girls can play games with boys when the boys seem not to place any value on their own time.

Try hanging out with some other people, all this is of course with the condition that she will have something to miss.

Hope You Found Thie Helpful

Mark Rosmar