Expert: Mark Rosmar - 8/10/2008

Question
I got a problem.......... There is a girl who I met at a school dance in october, she started talkin to me and we became friends. In march, I wannted to ask her to the next dance that was coming up, but she said no. After that, I've pretty much been obsessed with this girl and I freaked her put a lil bit and she stopped talkin to me. After a couple weeks with out talking to her she started talking to me again which made me very happy. well now its summer and I thought I'd be over her and I'M NOT!!!!!! I think about her more than anything and I'm scared by next school year all of this will happen again! what can I do to keep cool around he and talk to her like a normal human being so MAYBE I have a chance with her?

Thanks

Answer
Hello Nick,

and thanks for your letter.

Well first up. If you leave your feelings or "happiness" to be at the mercy of how a girl treats you, she will always have control over you and your emotions. You don't need this! Additionally, it will set you up for problems as you deal with women as you mature.

Now, the best way to deal with this girl is to become friendly with other people, especially girls, in your circle; this will lessen your 'emotional vulnerability exposure' to this girl and demonstrate to her that you are not needy or desperate.

Hope This Helps,

Mark Rosmar