Expert: Alex Strandberg - 1/7/2009

Question
sir,i am from delhi india
  i don`t know whether i love this girl or not.she is my classmate, at first neither i nor her interacted with each other but after sometime i was the first one to talk to her  and gradually we have become friends.
Recently her mother died and i, despite living far from her place visited her place to which she was surprised. i have decided to come closer to her as a friend.
she is very sweet and helpful.she once herself offered to help me with some of my studies and i too help her unconditionally.
she has her old college friends with whom she is more comfortable then me.
we became more good friends during our exams when she came to stay near my hostel.
i was planning to propose to her during our industrial visit.What should i try to know more about her?
Till today i know that we share many things in common.
please sir help me confirm whether this is love.
and how to progress thereafter.
i just want her to know that i like her...but how??

please help  

Answer
Hey Augustya,

Sorry for the late response, can you forgive me? Good. I always suggest that people go for it when they are unsure of the situation (unless I can tell she's obviously not into the guy).

Go for it but keep this in mind, she lives far away. That is going to be an issue if a relationship was to develop. Long distance relationships are a bad idea for several reasons:

1. Paranoia. She might think you are cheating or flirting with other girls or you might get paranoid of her

2. No sex. No sex can do very strange things for women

3. It's damn frustrating. It's very difficult for a new relationship to start of with such a barrier (the distance). This frustration will grow over time and eventually start to take it's tole on the relationship.

You can't really say whether or not it's love until you are in a relationship with a girl. People are very very good at putting social masks on and hiding who they really are underneath. Their flaws and imperfections stay hidden beneath the surface only to come when their guard is down (in the relationship). Your feelings towards her are strong but you can't call it love till you get to know her when the imperfections start to come out.

Alex