Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/7/2009

Question
QUESTION: Ok, me and this girl are really close friends and i really like her but she has a boyfriend in the army. Me and her txt alot and talk alot and we go on friend dates every once and awhile. What could i do to make her like me?

ANSWER: Hello Dylan!

Stop being the surrogate boyfriend.

In fact, you're just a place-holder until the guy she really wants to be with comes back home. You're safe - way too safe - to be interesting to her. She doesn't have to worry that you're going to hit on her because; let's face it, you're a coward. You've become her best friend hoping that she'd see what a great guy you are and do all your work for you so that you wouldn't have to take the risk of being rejected.

Instead, what you're actually doing is preventing her from every being attracted to you.

Whenever she feels lonely, you're right there with the big red nose and big, floppy shoes to cheer her up. The problem with this however is that she NEEDS to feel lonely in order to realize the futility of waiting around for a boyfriend hundreds or thousands of miles away.

Dylan, go to my website (http://BeingAMan.com) and click on "self help". From there, read my FAQ's; in particular the information on "friends" and the articles it links to. Frankly, you have very little chance of pulling this out now, but the articles will tell you how.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: ok, like she knows i like her i told her. I flirt with her i am nice to her. is thier any way i could make her like me without ignoreing her? like is thier any way i could make her stop dateing her boyfriend?
and is thier anything i could say to her?

ANSWER: Hello again Dylan!

Why did you tell her? In the hopes that she would come back and say, "Oh! Dylan! I feel the same way!" and then, you (again) wouldn't have to do any work - that's why. Dylan, women see RIGHT THROUGH that!

Think about this: here you are being the great guy and she knows damn-well what you want. She continues to use you for your attention and completely ignores your needs and wants. What does that say about her???

Here's the bottom line: you're lazy. In fact, you're far too lazy to have a girlfriend. You want all the easy answers and easy ways out. You want the girls to do all your work for you and you won't even lift a finger to solve your problems. You didn't even bother to go read those articles I sent you to!

If this isn't important enough for you to put in some effort for, why should I bother?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: ok, i read the articles and i do want to make the effort. But do i really have to ignore her for that long?

Answer
Yes.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"