Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/16/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hello,
I am in my third year in college. Last year, I been briefly talking to my consuelor about sexuality. (Earlier I did a phychology test as well as a skills test). She inquired further that I don't like girls?(I denably said no in the test). I said yes. And she continued on and say I need to talk with girls more often. The thing is I am shy. There are girls I obvious l like in my classes. Can you please give me advice?

ANSWER: Hello Edward!

First of all, you need to get over this notion that you're "shy". When people say that they instantly ingrain the idea in their minds as though it's an all-encompassing condition. It's not. For instance, are you "shy" when you're around your family? Are you "shy" when you're around your friends? Of course not. You're "selectively shy". That's a very different thing than being permanently shy.

Instead, what you lack is education.

Think of it like this: let's say that you knew exactly what to say and when to say it to any woman that you met. Would you be "shy" then? Of course not! You'd be bold and confident and forward and would go for exactly what you want, right? You sure as hell wouldn't be "shy" anymore.

That's the point. Many guys fall back on the excuse of being shy when in fact, they are simply lazy. They haven't bothered to learn any basic skills with women.

One of the problems you run into trying to follow your counselor's advice is that you only have trial-and-error to guide you. In other words, you have to keep trying things; losing most of the great opportunities you have, in order to finally discover what works. This can take years - trust me, I know.

Instead, if you put that effort into learning what REALLY works and making this just as important as any other class you're taking, you could have all those skills inside of a few weeks to a month or so. Consider this: of all the things you're studying, what else is going to bring you the joy and happiness of having a solid, loving relationship and sex life with an incredible woman?

So, you see, that's where you need to begin. As you gain the insight you currently lack into the female mind, you're also going to chop away at that shyness.

I suggest you get started on that right away. There are a bunch of incredible women out there waiting to meet you if only you can get past your shyness to say "hello".

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I thank you for replying, but can you please give me your advice in step by step formaton what to do and say?Are there resources you can recommend? Yes you are right. I am not overtly shy towards my family. I need to know what to say. One word can spell the trouble.

Edward Kwan


ANSWER: Hello again Edward!

Oh, I see. You don't just lack education, you're also lazy too. You want everything spoon-fed to you so that you don't have to do any work or make any effort whatsoever. Wow! I'll bet the girl that gets you will sure feel lucky! I just hope she doesn't expect too much from you.

Ok, let me get comfortable so I can re-write all of my books right here just for you. It's only going to take me about 6-8 months of transcribing - maybe a year if you throw in eating and sleeping and if I shut down my businesses and do nothing else.

Edward, seriously. I don't know what you don't know and thus, I can't give you a step-by-step answer. What if she says or does one thing, or another, or another? There are 1001 possible situations to every circumstance! How in the hell can I write such a thing out?

You're obviously neither serious about getting your problem fixed nor learning these skills. Until you are, nothing is going to change for you. You've taken the easy way out your entire life (by claiming to be "shy" so you'd have a "good excuse"). How many more years are you going to waste with this plan?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Sorry If I offended you. Yes I need to tkae action RIGHT NOW!

Answer
Hey Edward!

Yes, you do because if you don't do something today, tomorrow will be exactly the same. If you don't do something this week, tomorrow will be exactly the same. If you don't do something this month, next month will be identical, etc.

I suggest you start with my website: http://beingaman.com.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"