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About Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Expertise
I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women". I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, dating and sex, and have answered over 25,000 letters from readers from all over the world.
I'm able to answer literally any question regarding dating, finding and approaching women, sex, getting phone numbers, setting dates, what to do on dates, how to set them (and make sure she shows), dealing with dating problems, conversion from dates to relationships, etc. Check my website at: http://beingaman.com for much more. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com
Experience
My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but half my readers are women and I've very experiened in giving the male perspective on men and helping women understand us better.
Education/Credentials
Ph.D
Past/Present clients
Many thousands ... and millions of readers all over the world.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams > How to win the heart of the girl i really like
Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/28/2009
Question
QUESTION: Hi doc,
I've been in love with this girl in my school for about 8 months already. Initially, she just broke up with her boyfriend and we used to talk alot. We were rather close. However soon i realised she was becoming more distant. And i found that she got back with her ex boyfriend. So i continued talking to her, but as a friend. And then one day she broke up with her boyfriend again. Then my friend told me that she said that if i had asked her before her ex boyfriend got back with her earlier on, maybe things could have worked out. So i suppose i had a chance with her but i wasted it because i didnt ask her earlier on. So i didnt want to waste my chance this time again. I then continued talking to her. However two months later she was about to leave my school for another school. So the day before her last day, I confessed my love for her. I didnt ask her to be my girlfriend, i merely just told her i really liked her. But she said that she cannot make any promises right now, because her first relationship gave her alot of problems. I told her i'll wait for her no matter how long, and i could see that she was touched. But all she said was that she cannot make any promises right now. So we still continued talking as friends. I asked her to meet her for dinner. But she said that she would be busy. Just yesterday, i asked her again. And i told her my motive, which is that i wanted to spend more time with her and get to know her better since she herself said we dont know each other very well. But she said that she thinks this is not the right time right now, and that she does not want to start anything, not that she wants to hurt my feelings or anything. And then i told her that i still look at her as more than a friend. But she said that she cannot do anything about that. Then we talked and i kept apologising to her for disturbing her. She told me to stop apologising and said that there was no point. She herself also said sorry while talking later on. Now my question is, do i still have a chance with this girl? What do i do to get close to her and eventually win her heart and make her my girlfriend?
Tks in advance.
Chris
ANSWER: Hello Chris!
No, you no longer have a chance with this girl. You've totally destroyed any chance you might have had with her by making all these ridiculous mistakes.
You didn't pull the trigger when you had the chance. You told her how you felt about her (expecting her to reciprocate). You tried to dominate her time. You kept apologizing until it was absolutely clear that you neither know what you're doing, nor do you think you're worthy of her. You kept waiting for HER to do all your work for you.
No girl is going to go for that. This one is done and gone. I suggest you move on.
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hello once again doc,
In wad way did i make her do all the work? And how am i supposed to that work in this case? And doc i still think there's a slight chance.This is because she has a soft spot for me. But its just that she's not ready now. Becuase my friend asked her about my confession and how she felt about it. She said that she doesnt know. N she never gave me defenite reply when i asked her also. Moreover the apologising part, i didnt apologise unnecessarily. In fact she also apologised to me alot and i told her not to as well. Tks in advance.
Chris
ANSWER: Hello again Chris!
In many ways. Let's just take a look at one example: when you tell a girl how you feel about her, what are you expecting/hoping will happen? You want her to say, "Oh! Chris! I feel the same way!" By doing this, you take absolutely no risk and she has to show her hand to you. Women absolutely WILL NOT do this! It's YOUR JOB to build things up WITHOUT all this "coming clean" stuff.
Fine, if you think there's a chance, be my guest. Then, in 2 or 3 months when you find that you don't have anything to work with, you'll see what I'm saying is true.
She's given you a ton of information that you're trying to read with your masculine mind - not in her words, but yours. "I don't know" means "no". "Maybe" means "no". Women will NEVER come right out and say "no" unless you pester them so badly that they begin to hate you. As soon as she told you to stop apologizing, it was her way of saying, "Crap already! Enough!!!!"
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hi doc
I understand wad u mean but i still dont understand how i can go about building up stuff for the girl. Does it mean trying to impress her? And also, I plan to stop talking to the girl for a period of time. Then i am planning to get back to her as a friend and slowly build up from there. Is that alright?
Tks in advance.
Chris
Answer
Hey Chris!
Well, you absolutely don't want to believe what I'm telling you so, sure, go ahead and try everything you've said. I have a word for guys that try to do what you're doing here: "lonely", but you seem to know more about it than I do, so give it a shot.
No Chris. Being her "friend" will prevent you from ever being anything else to her. Worse yet, just think of all the great girls you COULD have and you're focusing on just this one? What a waste.
Go read my FAQ's on my website (http://BeingAMan.com) under "self help".
Best regards...
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"
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