Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/21/2009

Question
Hi. I really like this girl at my job... We both have the same position and she knows who I am. The only problem is that she may know me, but she does not know that I like her like that. Also, I would have said something to her about wanting to go out but, I don't have a license yet or anything, so it would be kind of auqward to ask her out and say that we need to take her vehicle... ;( also, she is 19 and I am 17, so I don't know if she would get all wierded out... And I don't want my workplace to get anymore uncomfortable than it already is, so I don't want to ask her and have her say no and then have my work have this wierd funk in the air... So I don't know what to do... It seems like everything is against me in this... WHAT DO I DO??????!!!!! :/  

Answer
Hello Ricky!

"Hahhahaha" ?? What's so funny about trying to get this girl?

If you're this scared about everything, then do nothing. Let someone else there at work that isn't such a coward start dating her. Then, you won't have to worry at all about that "funk".

Ricky, come on here! Is that really how you're going to live your life - worrying about how other people think and act? Are you going to always wait for the perfect situation in the perfect world; where you have a car, where you have a "sure thing", where you don't have to worry about anything? Man, you are going to be one lonely dude if that's what you think.

Relationships are all about risk. You either have the stones to take those risks or you watch as other guys like me come along and pick up the girls you want right out from under you. It's your choice of course.

DO NOT go tell this girl you like her! Instead, just tell her that you want to get to know her better outside of work. Find something fun to do where you can interact with her - not a movie or concert for instance - and tell her to clear the evening and what time to pick you up.

Or, don't and watch other guys do these things instead. Your choice.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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