Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/3/2009

Question
I'm only 16 and yesterday a girl broke up with me after only a very short time of being together. Her reason was that things are kind of crazy in her like and that she thinks that "I deserve someone who could do better justice to the relation." When I asked her out I knew that things weren't going great for her, but I went for it anyway, hoping that I could be there for her. Now I'm very upset because I've wanted to be with this girl for a long time and it just doesn't seem fair that our relationship would be over so soon. On top of that she's leaving the school soon and I would miss her terribly, even if just as a friend. Help please?  

Answer
Hello Steve!

What do you want me to help you with? I can't make her not leave school and I can't make her change her mind.

I suppose that the best I can offer is to help you cope with all of this.

First of all, you DO NOT want to become her "friend". You want more than that. Don't bargain with life for one thing and then except some scraps from it. If you want to be with a nice girl in a great relationship then go get it!

Think of all the girls right there in your school that are really great people and that would be really fun to get to know. You're here waiting for this girl to change her mind. Why do that? All you need to go is to go meet some of these other girls.

Now, maybe they aren't the "right girl" for you, but I'll bet they know one or two or...right?

Further, if you become this girl's friend, she's eventually going to meet some guy that she really likes and then you're going to have to sit there and listen to her stories all about how great HE is - when she won't give you the time of day.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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