Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 2/23/2009

Question
I went to a bar club last night cos it was my friend's birthday. Keep in mind this club is over 21's & i'm 18yrs old. Anyways i'm usually shy with girls but decided to give it a go. I saw these 2 girls sitting down who knew my mate so i introduced myself to them. Sometime later when i went to speak to them about all sorts, age occupation and at times i felt they weren't interested. When i said i was 18 they thought aww i'm a baby & cute (they are 25). As time went on, i felt it was me trying to continue the conversation, so they both went to dance. (At least i tried). Later on as we passed to go toilets, 1 of them playfully poked me on the chest & said "hey there you are, you alright ?" I said i'm fine & had to go - they both looked surprised...
What do you think ?

Answer
Hello Dani!

First of all, GREAT JOB for going over to these girls and introducing yourself! That's 1/2 the battle right there - being willing to go and say "hi".

At the very least these girls were showing recognition. That's valuable too, although I can't say it was specifically interest.

One of the things you want to learn is to leave before you think you should. Here's why: it's far better to leave them wanting to know more about you than to over-stay your welcome.

There's something of a fine line between when girls start feeling too safe with you and when they are anxiously interested.

One more point: don't go looking for attraction from women. Too many guys do that first thinking that a girl has to be attracted before anything happens. In reality, you CREATE attraction as you build rapport and connection. Focus on building rapport and connection instead.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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