Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 3/24/2009

Question
QUESTION: Okay now I'm a 23 year old guy and I consider myself okay looking, however I
have never had a girlfriend.  I work with beautiful women and have no
problem talking to them, however this girl in my class is driving me crazy.
She is very quiet and as I stated before gorguorus. My problem seems to be
when I see her I just lose words and find it hard to even go up to her and say
hi. I would really like to at least be her friend first, but how can I do this and
where could I do this? I'm thinking of going up to her after class and asking
her what her name is and then introducing myself. Thoughts?

ANSWER: Hello Greg!

You want to be friends first and think that being good looking are your keys to success with women? No wonder you've never had a girlfriend!

Greg, guys since the beginning of time have tried to pull this boner and we actually have a name for them: "lonely".

Here's why you want to be "friends first": you're a coward. You think that by becoming her friend, she'll see what a great guy you are, fall in love with you, do all your work for you and you won't have to take any risks of being rejected whatsoever.

What you don't know is that girls are on to this. In fact, nature has pre-wired them to AVOID dating male "friends"! If you do this dumb thing, eventually, some guy like me that knows better is going to come along and get all the play you're hoping for. She'll call you and tell you what a great guy I am and when she gets mad or hurt, she'll call you to lean on you "as the friend", but that's as much play as you'll EVER get with the girl.

Come on here Greg, don't be such a putz! I know you didn't write to me for a pounding, but the reality is that you've been single all this time because of exactly this sort of dumb idea! You need to change your thinking entirely. STOP thinking that you can be "friends first" or you'll wind up as "strangers last". That's the only way it works!

Instead, you need to man up and go for what you want.

I really like the idea of approaching her after class. The problem with this idea however is that you're probably waiting for just the right time. Unfortunately, that time never comes! You have to MAKE your opportunities happen - not wait for them to fall into your lap.

You do this by walking up to her at the very next chance you get. If she's with friends, you say, "Hey, I'm Greg. Do you have a minute? I want to ask you something. Let's take a little walk..."

Then, you turn and walk away assuming that she's following you. She will be by the way.

When you get her alone, you put your hand out to shake hers and ask her for her name. You tell her that you and she have [x] class together and that you believe she's a cool girl, but you want to find out if that's true. Then, you say, "Here, write down your number and let's get together outside of school one day and you can 'wow' me."

Do you see how this direct approach is not only much better than your "friendship" approach, but leads her right where YOU want her to go?

You're now asking, "So what if she turns me down?" Answer: she won't. This approach appeals very directly to how women are wired by nature! You're simply taking advantage of nature's pre-programming that we all have!

Even if she did, (as the form of a "Pre-Test" - something I talk about in my books) you just stick to your guns and say, "I don't care. Here write down your number and I'll call you maybe in a few days..."

This is very direct and powerful - exactly the sort of male energy women crave in us guys. All you need to do is pull the trigger and forget the dumb "friends first, losers last" game.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dr. Neder, I guess when It comes to girls I'm very old school. I really do like this
girl but I just can't go up to a stranger and ask her out, that's just not me at all. I truly do believe in becoming friends first and then if it leads to more great, if
not well then I did make a new friend right?

Answer
Hello again Greg!

What a lovely excuse -- "old school". Ok, then go back to 1950 and become the friend of some girl then. Oh wait! That'd make her your grandmother? Oh well, at least you have your rules, right?

Yeah Greg, go do it your way instead. You surely must know more about this than I do. Just don't be surprised when this girl calls you up and wants to tell you all about this incredible guy she just had sex with last night, "Dr. Neder".

Yeah, at least you'll be her friend!

You know Greg, sometimes, I'm just evil.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"