Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/7/2009

Question
What's up Doc,

My name is Kenny. I live in a small middle class town in the Midwest. I've been trying to get this girl for approximately two years now. It's been a pretty rocky chase, but in the end I managed to get her number and meet outside of our classes.

Sounds good, right? Well it was until about 5 months ago when I started having family issues. Because of this, I had to live a lifestyle where I received about 2 hours of sleep per day (around 6 more in my school) and it ended up making me look really depressed. Of course I didn't tell anyone, and it resulted in her and the whole school suspect that I was suicidal. Things didn't clear up until recently when my schedule was screwed up with sports and work that I had to give up a large portion of my social life.

You could skip my entire rant there to answer this; I haven't talked to her for months. I need to know how to get my girl back. Can you suggest a gentle yet direct-to-the-point way to try and coax her into getting the boat sailing?

PS: Sorry for all the BS metaphors. I'm writing a paper while doing this as well

Until then doctor,

Kenny

Answer
Hello Kenny!

Sounds good? No, it doesn't sound good! Two years? Why have you wasted two years on just one woman? Do you realize how many incredible women you've probably passed up chasing this one?

Ok, you're probably way-late with this girl, but that doesn't mean you don't have a chance. The biggest hurdle you now face is trying to rebuild what minor interest you had from her that would cause her to give you her digits in the first place.

I suggest a direct approach. Call her up, remind her who you are and explain that you've been meaning to call her all these months, but have had some personal challenges that have gotten in the way. You're now past those and are picking up where you left off.

Tell her that you want to see her on Friday or Saturday [or whenever] and ask which is the better day. Then, go meet her and find out what's been going on in her life and get to know her again.

I'd be a little careful about unloading all the drama you've been through in the past few months on her however. If she asks, give her a little summary but don't go too deeply into it unless she really pries. You don't want to come off as a drama queen here. You want to seem more like someone that had some challenges and has overcome them - a much more powerful stance.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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