Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 4/19/2009

Question
Alright doc, give it to me straight.  Im 5'3, about 10 pounds overweight, a
minority, pretty dumb in the head, and poor as hell.  But, i do have a sense of
humor (if too much) and the determination of an ox (i would fend off zombies
to the death for my girl).  What are my chances of landing this girl of my
dreams.  And if its slim to none, any advice would be great lol.  thanks  

Answer
Hello Ray!

Your chances are about the same as every other guy - that's the reality.

Ray, you are taking what you consider to be your worst qualities and comparing them to what you consider to be other people's best. Then, you just throw in there that you have a great sense of humor.

What the hell???

On my show last week, we spent quite some time discussing a study that has been on-going in Australia for some time that covers a huge number of women (over 10,000 - and growing) from every ethnicity and walk of life. What they've found is that the main things you've talked about (your looks) actually ranks only 7th among the 10 most important attributes to women.

Do you know what is the second most important attribute? Sense of humor - 90% of all these women choose that as an important attribute! No shit!!

By the way, the #1 most important attribute, chosen by 95% of the women - confidence.

Here, you have the second most important attribute and you're worried about the 7th. Why would you waste your time like that?

Oh, that's right - it's because YOU are most attracted to women's looks and thus, you think they should feel the same way as you.

You also claim to be "dumb". Well, nobody can have a sense of humor and be stupid at the same time. They are mutually exclusive attributes!

Why are you giving yourself all these obstacles to climb over rather than working your assets? Answer: so that you don't have to make more difficult excuses for why you haven't found the woman of your dreams yet. One of those excuses is simply that you're lazy.

You're not trying to learn the skills you need to have in order to meet women and be successful with them. After all, that takes real work! Instead, you'd rather sit around and make excuses because, well, that's easy. Then, you figured you'd write to me and validate your bad choices even further.

Ray, I'm not going to do that for you. You have just about the same exact opportunities that every other guy out there has. The problem is that you're not using them. In fact, you're inventing reasons why you can't be successful with women!

You think you're short, I think you're concentrated and just about average height.

You think you're a minority, I think you're exotic which makes you different.

You think you're 10 pounds overweight, I think you can easily lose that weight.

You think you're dumb, I think that you're lazy.

You think you're poor, I think you're not motivated.

Ray, You can continue to believe whatever you want to believe. If that makes you feel good, then be my guest. I just think that's a waste of your time and you're not at all moving forward because of it.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"