Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/21/2009

Question
Hi, i really could use a little bit of help, oh who am i kidding i need a whole lot of help. Im 17 right now, and have not really been in the dating scene. Ever. And i know im not some weird guy, or anything like that. Im about 6 feet tall with ash colored hair and grey eyes, weigh about 190, so im not fat or anything, but whenever i meet a pretty girl, i just kind of choke. Its fine if i know the girl, even if she is smokin', but even then i feel aqward and whatever i say it doesnt make her laugh.

Like right now theres a girl i want to go out with, she's a foreign exchange student, and i really dont know if shes going out with anyone right now. We have hung out before, and gone running together, but i really like her, and she doesnt seem to notice me...

So do you have anything that could help me with that?

Sincerely

Cole

Answer
Hello Cole!

You're making a classic mistake with girls. You're trying to entertain them - not engage them. These are two different things!

By entertaining girls (trying to make them laugh, etc.) you're trying to create interest. Fine. The problem however becomes that you're creating the WRONG interest. You want to engage women instead. You can use humor to do that, but it's not necessary.

What women are really looking for is someone that "gets it" with them; someone that is able to touch them emotionally in a deep, profound way. That's not the huge job it seems to be on the surface however.

The reality is that all you need is a little education. Let's start with the communication skills. Go to my website (http://BeingAMan.com) and click on "self help". From there, read my FAQ's - especially the articles about communication skills. This is going to give you some important insight into how to engage girls.

I'd also strongly encourage you to continue your education by reading my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" as you're going to gain some incredible skills you never knew before, but start with the articles first. They are going to help immensely.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"