Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/23/2009

Question
hey doc, its jared 19 comin at ya from lil ole west virginia, Doc i have two questions ive noticed in my game my strong points are that when i already know a girl and am very comforable in the situation i can make them laugh, engage them, and pretty much get it to the point where if i want a date i can get a date, if i wanna hook up more often than not i canclose on that too. BUT Doc and this is killin me help me along on this one when i see a gorgeous woman who ive NEVEr talked to at a restraunt, beach, hell wherever and i wanna close I choke i dont even approach them i guess im lacking a little confidence in that area and am wanting some tips.
another thing, Doc alot of the past girls ive dated, even though im not lookin for a relationship right now, Very attractive but theyre immature and play games im sick of that shit, wheres all the quality woman who are more serious and not out to play childish games. thanks doc,
Jared

Answer
Hello Jared!

First, let's deal with the game players. You have no idea how often I have to redirect dumb (and actually, by "dumb" I mean "fucking stupid!") game-playing girls! I've already answered 3 letters from women that are terrified of looking "desperate" and thus want to throw all sorts of games all over the place.

Believe me Jared, you're not misreading any of this. These girls are insecure and are constantly trying to find new ways to not have to grow up. The problem is that their dating lives are in shambles! All the games they feel compelled to play simply cause them heartache after heartache. Then, the come running to Dr. Dennis and think I can fix things after they've fucked them up royally!

These girls really are stupid! There's no other way to describe them! Worse yet, then they "advise" their girlfriends to do the same dumb things that got THEM into trouble too! It's something of an epidemic going around. I don't know whether these girls are trying to sabotage each other or that they want to believe that somehow, somewhere that these games WILL work - even though they never see any evidence of it.

It's pretty pathetic!

You are going to have to decide that you're not going to tolerate all the games. You need to set standards for yourself. Come to the simple conclusion that the girls you date can either have the games or you - but NOT both! Don't put up with them, and for god's sake, don't try to play them! Even if you do get through them you lose tons of respect in the girls eyes and any relationship you create is going to suffer because of it.

Now, on to the approach.

Here's the reason why you lack confidence when you approach new girls: you don't know what to do. You don't know how to break the ice, you don't know how to (quickly) build rapport and connection, you don't know how to throw in sexuality and you don't know how or when to close. It's really just as simple as an education.

My students all come to me with this same concern - you're not alone at all, trust me. Nobody wants to get rejected (or worse) get into one of those stupid girl-games I just spoke about. So, most guys choke up just like you do.

The key around this is simply education!

Try to image this: let's say that you know how to break the ice, how to build huge rapport and connection quickly and how to close at the right time to get whatever you wanted: digits, dates, sex, whatever. Do you really think that you'd lack confidence when you approach a new girl? Do you really think that you'd get all tongue-tied and stiff? Of course not. In fact, hunting would become really fun! (It IS fun by the way! I'm going to an event this afternoon where I know I'll walk with between 5-10 NEW, incredible women's digits AND a date for later on tonight. OF COURSE I'm looking forward to it - I'm going to be just about the only guy there with the confidence and ability to approach and close these girls!)

That's what you need to focus on now: getting that education! The great news is that it's not difficult at all, but it is rather precise. You DO need to learn a few basic skills about reading women and turning that reading into specific results, but trust me, you can do it.

It's even better that you're 19 years old. I didn't come to this understanding until into my 30's! I wish I had this knowledge when I was your age; although I haven't wasted any time since I learned it.

So, I strongly encourage you to go get that education you need. Start with my websites (http://BeingAMan.com and http://BeingAMan.tv). There's some great starter information there. Also take a look at my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" and the other books on my site. They are all about teaching you all of these skills.

Once you get them, you're never going to have to wonder if that cute girl you just past might be someone you could date - she IS. Even better, these skills actually HELP girls to feel that they don't have to play all the games with you. Seriously! They see you as "unique" because you know HOW to talk to them and HOW to touch them emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. You know how to speak to them in their own language.

Very powerful stuff!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
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