Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/21/2009

Question
QUESTION: There is a girl (TOO Shy) at work who's become a friend but i think she may have liked me. The problem is i don't know where i stand with her. Basically we went out as friends 1 time & was great. After that, we often text each other but I joked about her being shy with boys (i think she took it personally) & went cold on me for months. She claims she was busy after i text her several times.Over a month later she contacts me on MSN & behaves like nothing has happened. She asking how i've been. She probaly missed me. We started texting again & discussed about me going on holiday. A week later i tried phoning her 3 times to invite her to a party but she didn't answer & rejected my call. She said she was out shopping. 2 days later i text her asking if she wants to meet up but says she is meeting a mate & going to a party - She says we can meet after i return from holiday BUT i lost it & replied - it don't matter now, Forget it!. She replied LOL. Somehow i think she is lieing to me !! And i got very frustrated because i feel like she is playing with me !

Is she avoiding me ? What do you think ? Please be honest ...

ANSWER: Hello Dan!

She's using the texts to keep you away. Kick this game player to the curb and go find someone worthy of your attention. She's a loser and that's what you'll wind up being if you give her any more of your attention or energy.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: what do you mean " she is using the texts to keep me away ?" i'm still annoyed with her but she said "we can meet after i return from holiday". Does this not mean anything or is she delaying it because she is bored with me ???...

ANSWER: Hello again Dan!

There's nothing so distant as technology. With it, she can make you THINK she's interested while keeping you at arm's length. Thus, she gets your attention - and prevents you from getting what you want.

Trust me, she's not going to see you when you get back. If she had that intention, she wouldn't wait. I have no idea if she's bored with you or not. What I do know is that you're getting played.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok, i will hopefully forget about her. BUT if in a month or two she contacts me and see how i'm doing, how do i respond. Last time that happened, i was responding like i missed her - which i should'nt have done.
Next time - HOW DO I RESPOND BACK - BE COLD TO HER SO SHE GETS THE MESSAGE ?

Answer
Hey Dan!

You respond just as you do with any Attention Whore ("AW") - you make delivery of ANY AND ALL attention you give her contingent on getting what YOU want FIRST. You never invest attention with an AW hoping to get what you want back - it never comes.

You respond with a lack of interest and boredom. You rush to get off the phone with her. You don't have to be cold; and in fact, that's going to work against you. You just have to have a lack of interest.

If you want to know more about the AW, check out my second book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World II" as there's an entire treatment of the subject there.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"