Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 5/12/2009

Question
How are you doing Dr.?  I've recently purchased and read
BAM1, and feel fairly confident in practicing some of the
techniques mentioned in your book.  There's one problem
that I find myself having though.  There's this young lady
who is a care giver at my daughters day care, but she
doesn't work with the children in my daughters age range.  
So what is something that I could say as far as context
goes, to generate a conversation with her, and then of
course close her?

Answer
Hello Martise!

You're doing very well here. I'm very proud of you for thinking in terms of "context" for your approach. Let's see if we can figure a few context-approaches out:

"How long have you worked here?"
"What do you like most about working with kids?"
"Do you have any kids of your own? I'll bet you're a great mom!"
"Where do you find the patience to deal with all these kids all day long?"
"I'll bet your mother was great and that's where you got your interest in kids from, right?"
"Do you find that you get colds more often being around all these kids or are you immune now?"

There are 6 of them right there. Notice something however: I'm not trying to make her fall in love with me simply from the opener. This is a mistake many guys make. It can't be done. If it could, I'd be out of a job.

With the close just consider these points:

1) Before you close, you need a reason to do so. The context approach is a great one for this because it gets her talking and gives you a reason to close: "This was fun. Let's get together and do it again soon. Here, write down your number."

2) Do it earlier than you think you should. Don't wait until the conversation comes to a natural end or you lose momentum. Don't wait until she has to leave to go back to work or you lose opportunity. You want to be the one to end things.

3) Use the short time you have to determine her communication systems and mirror or counter them as necessary according to the chapter in BAM1 about this. Rapport and connection leads directly to attraction.

4) As soon as you sense the attraction/interest coming from her, be ready to close.

5) Always close for digits - never email addresses. You're going to need the digits later on anyway - so get them when you have the chance otherwise you have to ask again once the rapport and connection has worn off and you risk getting turned down.

Good job Martise!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
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