Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/28/2009

Question
hello, so I'm taking this girl on a date in a couple weeks. (she is a busy girl) i know her from work. i am 21 and she will be 22 soon. so i know first dates and all are supposed to be about getting to know eachother and all, so I'm wondering if this is ok. I live by the ocean, so i was thinking about going for dinner at the beach, and going for a nice walk after. but i like to be a little different. should i just dress nicely and stick to that idea, or do you think it may be better to have some fun, wear some shorts and sandals and try some skim boarding? it would be easy to say this girl is out of my league, but i wont say that. but she is AMAZING, and i don't want to mess anything up. so what do you think? thanks.

Answer
Hello Mark!

There is NO girl out of your league Mark. Don't ever let yourself think that. It sets you up to do all sorts of things you absolutely must not if you ever want to be with her. Women are far more interested in relationships with great guys than we are even with them. That's the fact. YOU are the prize here - not her. Don't do that to yourself.

Don't go overboard here. It's important to go and have fun on a first date, but to be relaxed and comfortable too. What's far, far more important is that you actually plan things out - and let her know what those plans are. Don't go on this date and let the words, "So, what do you want to do?" slip out of your mouth.

Why not keep it simple and just go for the face-time? That can be fun too as long as you stay engaging. Ask her about herself - her feelings, her beliefs, her memories, etc. Get to know her. Whether you skim-board or just relax makes no difference but be appropriate. Don't get all dressed up to go to the beach.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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