Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/24/2009

Question
Hello There my name is aaron im 25 yrs old and have a problem with a women

right introduction out the way, Basically in march of this year i split with my fiancee of three and a half year.Since that time i have had a few flings yadda yadda yadda but no-one has peaked my interest untill about two months ago. A male friend invited me out for a drink with him and his cousin one night and to my surprise she was gorgeous. At first it started out all of us going out together me my friend his cousin her friends and so on , upon talking to heri discovered that she only split up with her bf of 4 years in feb and she is 22 her name is kirsty. right with the details secured along with her phone number we continued going out in a group and there was flirting going on she said she liked certain things about me. anyways i thought it was going nowhere untill last wednesday i invited her down the pub on her own and to my surprise she came  anyway we had a blast and she really is great we ended up bk at mine and kissing and fondling happened  i asked her too stay she said no as she was weak however before she left , she said i thought we were friends i replied i dont kiss my friends like that she said shedidnt want a bf to which i replied neither do i want a gf that si , however i did ask if i could see her again  she replied you will do  she went home and we didnt speak for a day then on the saturday of last wk she came to a club to meet her brother who i happened to be out with she knew this however she said she wasnt feeling well and wanted to go home i too was going so i suggested we share a cab  again she came bk to mine kissing fondling and stuff and again she went home. On the sunday morning i got a text asking if i was okay i replied yes hungover bt fine she then rang me saying she was really unwell and is going dwn the hospital she wanted to make sure i was ok and she hadnt given me what she had. anyways a day went past without contact and then she phoned me yesterday to tell me she was okay and that just general chat. She asked me what i was doing this weekend. Basically i dont know what my next move is and whether she likes me or not ive told her i like her but havnt let on how much as didnt want to scare her away what do i do

many thanks aaron

Answer
Hello Aaron!

Here's the problem: you're listening to her words and ignoring her actions. Her actions are telling you that she's interested. Instead of watching them, you're letting her misdirect you with things like "I don't want a boyfriend" (bullshit!)

You don't have to have a name for this (like "boyfriend" or "girlfriend") if you're getting what you want, right? So, forget that part - just ACT like the boyfriend instead. Her actions are telling you everything you need to know.

Call her up and set up a date for this weekend - don't go hang out with friends, this has to be about face-time between just you and her. If you bring in the friends, all you're doing is building one with her and trust me, friends almost never turn into anything more.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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