Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/29/2009

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How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams - HELP
Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 6/24/2009

Question
Hello There my name is aaron im 25 yrs old and have a problem with a women

right introduction out the way, Basically in march of this year i split with my fiancee of three and a half year.Since that time i have had a few flings yadda yadda yadda but no-one has peaked my interest untill about two months ago. A male friend invited me out for a drink with him and his cousin one night and to my surprise she was gorgeous. At first it started out all of us going out together me my friend his cousin her friends and so on , upon talking to heri discovered that she only split up with her bf of 4 years in feb and she is 22 her name is kirsty. right with the details secured along with her phone number we continued going out in a group and there was flirting going on she said she liked certain things about me. anyways i thought it was going nowhere untill last wednesday i invited her down the pub on her own and to my surprise she came  anyway we had a blast and she really is great we ended up bk at mine and kissing and fondling happened  i asked her too stay she said no as she was weak however before she left , she said i thought we were friends i replied i dont kiss my friends like that she said shedidnt want a bf to which i replied neither do i want a gf that si , however i did ask if i could see her again  she replied you will do  she went home and we didnt speak for a day then on the saturday of last wk she came to a club to meet her brother who i happened to be out with she knew this however she said she wasnt feeling well and wanted to go home i too was going so i suggested we share a cab  again she came bk to mine kissing fondling and stuff and again she went home. On the sunday morning i got a text asking if i was okay i replied yes hungover bt fine she then rang me saying she was really unwell and is going dwn the hospital she wanted to make sure i was ok and she hadnt given me what she had. anyways a day went past without contact and then she phoned me yesterday to tell me she was okay and that just general chat. She asked me what i was doing this weekend. Basically i dont know what my next move is and whether she likes me or not ive told her i like her but havnt let on how much as didnt want to scare her away what do i do

many thanks aaron

Subject     HELP cont
Question     hello there aaron here again you answered a question for me last week about what to do  about my friends cosuin that i like. and although the advice was helpful as again friday and saturday  we ended up not being able to keep are hands off each other  i want to know how do i go about setting a date making sure she shows up , im lost here as you said before im letting her actions tell me shes at least slightly interested otherwise why all the kissing. But i want as you put it face time with just her i was going to have flowers sent to her house with a note on saying dinner tonight 8pm or something like that but i just want to know how to secure a date with her making sure she shows

many thnaks again aaron
Answer     Hello Aaron!

I get many, many hundreds of these questions every single week and have answered over 30,000 of them so far. I can't possibly remember the details of our discussion if you don't copy the original message(s). Thus, I'm sorry, but I don't remember what we've talked about.

If you and she are playing kissy-face, she's far more than slightly interested! What are you waiting for here? Some sort of golden ticket or something?

Further, if you haven't been on a date yet, then flowers are NOT appropriate! Giving gifts with no context isn't "romantic", it's creepy. It makes girls feel like you're trying to buy your way into her pants and she'll start putting on the brakes thinking that something is wrong.

More important, that is NOT a way to set up a date!

If you have this much connection with her, you're pretty damn sure she's going to show up on a date if you ask, but here are the basics:

1) Be absolutely clear on when, where and what for the date. Don't ask her "what do you want to do?" - EVER! Keep the date simple. Don't spend a bunch of money and don't try to pull out all the stops. SIMPLE!

2) Tell her (don't ask her) to clear her Friday night (or whenever) and tell her that you'll pick her up (best) or meet her (less so) and a specific location. Again, be absolutely clear. Don't leave anything up to chance!

3) Do NOT agree to confirm later on! This just gives her a chance to back out.

4) It's good to let her know how to dress. You don't have to tell her what you're going to do, but at least she'll be appropriate. Girls are into that.

5) Add, "By the way, if you have to cancel for an 'emergency' I need AT LEAST 24 hours notice!" The reality is that "emergencies" rarely happen, but some girls will pull this "girl game" to get you to think about them. It's stupid and ALWAYS works against the girl, but many girls today just aren't that sophisticated.

6) Be on time and go have a blast.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder

right i have included both previous anwers  to see if that can make it a little clearer i really am confused as to wat to do next the flowers thing is what i thought but she was dopping hints saying i have never had flowers delivered to my door never also i text her yesterday after we had all been out together saturday and were playing kissy-face asking her if she fancied doing sumink later let me know  either cinema or takeaway and a dvd got no reply im thinking is it best to put the brakes on myself i.e dnt contact her let her contact me and see what happens

best regards again

aaron

Answer
Hello again Aaron!

Flowers? Let her earn them. When she does (by being worthy of a gift and I can't possibly tell you what that would be from your standpoint, only you know that), send them.

I've already told you that going to a movie is a bad idea for the first few dates.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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