Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 7/15/2009

Question
Well doc, we've bin frendz fr 7 years now...bt we lost touch in the middle for about 3 years. 3 months ago, we got in touch again. We talked, n flirted n laughed like hell, but i made the mistake of expressing my feelings too soon. we've only met once about a month back coz i wz living in a different city. Now i am in my hometown. She's ok with us going out, but not too interested in a relationship. So i'v just avoided her completely for most of the last month. She calls so i talk n cut her off in minutes. She's a one man woman, n in her early twenties still hasnt been in a single relationship. M sure about that because i did my research!!! I know she has feelings for me, she told me that last month, but then when i tried to probe deeper, she just wont open up again. if she hadn't said those words, i wud hav moved on. N she gets jealous when i go out with other women, so thats still a gud sign too. I'v always had feelings for her, i mean ever since high school.I need to know how i can get her to become more than friends???

Answer
Hello Dino!

You need to absolutely stick by your guns here. You are clear on what you want and you have to avoid anything that isn't that. She can call you if she wants (frankly, a good thing) but you need to remind her that if she wants anything other than the occasional 5 minute "catch-up" call she has to move forward with things. Further, you're not her friend - and won't ever be at this point.

The more girls you date (and she knows about) the better. She needs to know that she's not the only one interested in your time.

Dino, don't settle for anything less than you want. You can't push a chain uphill, but you can pull it, just as you can with this girl if you hold steadfast to your goals.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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