Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 7/8/2009

Question
Hey Dr. D

I've asked you some questions in the past that worked, you told me about like the "context" approach i think.

But i was wondering how to use this approach when trying to get the number of someone i have no relation to at all.

I'm 17 and there is this young women that works at a local market basket, she's probably around 20 or 21, and I've never talked to her or even seen her before. I just saw her the other day and thought that she was gorgeous. How would I approach and get the number of this 21 year old stranger while she is working the cash register?

It seems impossible.

Answer
Hello Ethan!

What you're thinking is that you walk right up to her and ask her for her number - which you won't get.

The problem is that you're totally missing and rapport and connection building. Context is important for building the initial approach itself - giving you a reason to approach her in the first place - but it's not going to make her fall in love with you.

Instead, you need to begin building that rapport and connection with her so that she's looking forward to seeing you again. Then, when you say, "Give me your number" she's more than ready to do so.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
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