Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 7/24/2009

Question
Her parents and my parents are very good friends so I have known her for a little less than a year. But we have only been friends for a few week because we never really spoke until three weeks ago. I don't know what to do because I don't know if she likes me. If I ask her out and she says no it will be really awkward because we would still see each other often, and it would also probably ruin our friendship. What should I do.

Answer
Hello Miguel!

It'll also be awkward for her if she turns you down.

There are a number of problems here. First of all, why are you worried whether she likes you or not? You can create attraction in her any time you want - whether she already likes you or she doesn't. That's not an issue. All you need is interest which you already have because there's a level of familiarity.

Second, what's this about friendship? Is that really what you want? If so, then do nothing because asking her out WILL ruin the friendship! If she likes you, it's going to ruin it by turning it into something else. If she isn't interested, it's going to ruin it too.

Miguel, figure out what you want. You either want a friendship or you want something else. You can't have both.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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