Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 8/11/2009

Question
im in need of ur help doc..im kinda stuck with this woman im beginnin to fall for..she and i both admit theres a special connection but it seems like she scared to take it forward..she tends to juggle me back and forth thru that friend zone n a dater...we've gone on 3 dates n when i took her somewhere special 2 have a 1st kiss worth rememberin she froze up n didnt let me in for the kiss..now she told me that shes unsure of how she feels towards me n that 1 of her exs got in touch wit her n it felt rite...i ditchd the phone call kwik to ask for ur help..plz doc thx, aaron

Answer
Hello Aaron!

You absolutely do not want to leave this in her hands to decide. If you do that, not only will she decide in favor of her ex, but she'll see you ask weak and cowardly and not expecting to get what you want.

This is where WTW ("Willing To Walk") comes into play. You have to decide that you're going to get what you want or you'll walk - and that she'll lose out.

First, instill some doubt in her. Mention the fact that she and this idiot are ex's for a reason. That reason still exists or she'd be with him. Just because she forget the pain he gave her doesn't mean it's still not there. Don't be intimidated by this - it's the reality, trust me.

Next, you need to tell her that she's about to lose something extremely valuable. If she doesn't care about value, then she needs to go rushing off to the ex and hope that he'll take pity on her and throw her a bone (yes, say it like that - harsh, but to the point.) If she want's something more than table scraps, she has a better option by getting to know you better.

Aaron, this is a very bold, powerful move and frankly, very few women can resist it. It takes some stones, but considering where you are right now, you have nothing to lose.

Get on the phone (DO NOT email or text her!) and tell her to meet you - don't ask either.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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