Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/22/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hi, so it all started like this...
There's this girl i like from church and this summer we went to church retreat/camp together, and we had this encouragement box that is anonymous unless you want to identify yourself. so she writes me one saying that it is really good to see me here and that i make her feel good inside and ends it with love, ______ <3. And that day, I sat beside her, and she compliments me and rubs my leg. When the subject of dating came up as we were chilling, she says under her breath, but loud enough for others to hear that she knows i want to date her, but then my friend asked in body language if she liked me. I wasn't supposed to see it, but she shook her head. Anyways I wrote her a little note as well.

We came back to the city after, and she said stuff like, i want to sit beside you, you're so cute i want to hug you, but at the moment i really didn't reply or anything. Now, she and her friends all of sudden ignore me for no apparent reason. I have not done anything or said anything to offend her. The only thing i can think of is her friend seeing me smoking a cigarette, but really i don't think that's it.

I am 16, and she's 1 year senior of me. I am not shy around guys, but around girls, especially her, i act so shy that it seems like i'm not interested, but i cleared that up in my little note. I don't know her msn or her number as I don't know her that well yet. But now that she's ignoring me it's even harder.

Thanks for all your time and replying to such a long question.


ANSWER: Hello Jack!

You think you haven't done anything? My friend, you've committed the cardinal sin (pun intended) of dating! You ignored all her signals!

Come on here! How more forward and obvious does this girl have to be with you? OF COURSE they all ignore you! You ABSOLUTELY have offended her! This poor girl approaches you, does all your work for you and you do nothing back - and your excuse is because you're "shy"????

Jack, welcome to the world! You are VERY unlikely to ever get this sort of opportunity again. It's YOUR job to approach, take all the risks, move things forward, etc., and you RARELY get this sort of opportunity handed to you! Your little note meant NOTHING if there was no action behind it!

Jack, nutt-up here already! Go talk to this girl and just say, "Hey there. I'm sorry to have been ignoring you [don't say anything about HER ignoring YOU]. Here, write down your number and let's get together and catch up this weekend. Which day is better for you, Saturday or Sunday?"

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: So I still have a chance?

ANSWER: Hello again Jack!

Yes, you still have a chance. I can't tell you how good or bad a chance you have however. It depends on how long this has been going on. Your chances dwindle with every passing day - so GET GOING ALREADY!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello again.. 1 final question. Why would she say no when asked if she liked me if she does? Thank you

Answer
Hey Jack!

My question to you: why are you worried about things that haven't happened? Stop inventing things in your mind and go talk to this girl already! Trust me, you're not the only guy that knows she's out there.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"