Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/26/2009

Question
QUESTION: Hello doc,

         I think you would probably have forgotten me. Here is the link to my previous question. http://www.allexperts.com/user.cgi?m=6&catID=843&expID=74262&qID=4822685
I have been folowing your advice of not talking to the girl i like for about one week already. So when i dp get back to her, should i ask her out alone? Or will it be awkward? Is it better to call her out together with other people? And also, i do not want to waste time and i want to ask her to be my girlfriend soon. When should i do it and how should i do it? Tks in advance.

Morgan

ANSWER: Hello Morgan!

Thanks for posting that link. Unfortunately, it's been removed from the server.

Yes, when you get back to her, set the date for you two alone. It doesn't have to be awkward if you don't make it so.

Just say, "So, which [day/evening] is better for you: Thursday or Friday?" (or whenever). Don't ask her if she wants to go out, instead just give her this choice.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello again doctor,

Just to remind you i will be getting back to this girl just after my exams in one week time just like you told me to. But what if she asks to call more people or if she says she is not free to go out? And also, i think you forgot to read my earlier question where I asked how and when i should ask this girl to be my girlfriend.


Here is the very first question i asked you previously. I hope it might help to let you know of the situation i am in so that u can help me in telling me how and when to ask the girl to be my girlfriend.


QUESTION: Hello Doctor
         Well there's this girl i like whom I have been friends with for about eight months.Initailly when i knew her she just broke up. However awhile after i developed interest in her she got back with her ex. And recently, one month ago, they broke up again. I then moved closely with her, trying to be there for her. Initially we communicated quite alot. I then found out through my friend that she said that i actually had a chance to be her boyfriend earlier before she got back with her ex, just that i didnt make the move. Thus, i didnt want to make the mistake this time round. Well just last week she complained of having a tough time. So i thought i'll get her a box of cookies to make her feel better. Then when i told her i wanted to past it to her, she said thanks and was willing to meet me. However during our meeting, she said thanks and told me never ever to get her a gift and trouble myself again. Ever since then, for about two days already, I have been trying to initiate conversations with her via sms, but they were very shortlived. Apparently she is also very busy now since our exams are around the corner. The thing is that,I dunno what to do from now. The reason why i m still chasing her is because she once liked me and i still like her. Izzit because of my box of cookies that she is getting slightly unresponsive? Or that she is busy? How should i continue my pursuit for her? Should i leave her alone and dont talk to her for a few days? Pls help me. Tks alot.


I hope this helps. Thanks alot doc.

Morgan

Answer
Hello again Morgan!

Why are you worrying about things that haven't even happened yet? Why are you making up things to be concerned about? What if a meteor hits while you're on your date? You haven't worked out a plan for that! What if a vicious animal attacks or a war starts? Come on Morgan. There are 1001 possible scenarios. Are you going to ask me every single one of them and try to memorize some speech for each one?

Obviously, I can't do that. You DO however need to know how to set-up dates properly and handle basic objections. You can learn all about that in my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II". They go into all of this in great depth.

With regards to her not being available, that's why you give her the choice two days. If she can't make either one of them, you simply say, "Ok, I'll have to check my schedule and get back to you." Then, you give her 3-4 days before contacting her again and then give her 2 more days. It's actually very simple.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"