Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/22/2009

Question
Hi.There is a girl at a school which is next to mine.I fell in love with her i think...Could you please tell me how to approach her and what to tell her to make her like me and date with me???

Answer
Hello Nick!

That's actually a very huge question! I can't possible give you everything you're going to need right here in one - or one hundred messages! The best I can do for you is to give you some basic tips, but frankly, you're going to need much more. I strongly urge you to read "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" for the complete answers.

To approach this girl, all you need is "context". That is simply the answer to a question: "What do she and I have in common at this place, at this time, in this situation?" You already have tons of context. For instance, you and she go to the same school.

Any context is enough to approach her. All you need to do is walk up and say, "Hi there. I'm Nick. What's your name?" let her give it to you, then, "Nice to meet you. What do you like the most about this school?" or whatever context you've come up with.

You want to ask her a question to get HER to start talking. Then, you want to really listen to her answer because it's going to give you context for the next question you ask and so on. Don't spend a lot of time here however - you're not holding a date, you're simply breaking the ice.

The final step is simple: you want to "close" by asking her for her number and setting up the next date.

You do this by ending the conversation a little too early. Don't wait until it's about to fade away, do it when it's at it's highest point. This should only take about 4-5 minutes. Then, you say, "It was nice talking to you. We should do this again over coffee sometime. Here, write down your number and I'll call you next week." Then, you hand her a paper and pen.

Do you see how I didn't ASK her for what I wanted, I TOLD her instead? This is crucial. She'll give you her digits and you're set to meet her for coffee next week. Call her after a few days and set-up the date.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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