Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 9/21/2009

Question
QUESTION: she was married and she is in the border of divorce.i am working abroad and she is in my homeland.last time i went my homeland and meet her and express my feelings to her.she says "no"because of our customs is like that.but her way of talking i understand she likes me.we are sending sms and talking by phone and joining in the restuarant.but whenever i express my feelings,the same reply from her.once her father was hospitalised,she ask my help,i have done it.but at last she ask me my blood to donate for her father,i agreed and i went to blood bank,that time i expressed my feelings again,the same reply again from her. i got angry and i used bad words to her,didnt donate blood.i know it is a big and great mistake (in the eyes of god also.).after that i recognise my mistake and i appologise to her.but she didnt shows to any interest to talk with me.earlier she told me that dont say anybody of our relationship beacause she is very much aware in our customs.but after this problem i told this matters to my freind and he called her as a mediater to solve these problems.this also make a bad impression of me in her mind.i really love her and i really need her.time is too short,we are become older thats why iam little faster in this case and that make me to do this great mistakes.again i return back for my work abroad and she is in my homeland.she is not picking up my calls also.please give me a good and positive answer how to bring back her in my life again.

ANSWER: Hello Sajith!

You have two major problems here: 1) You're long-distance, and 2) she's a manipulative and inconsiderate user.

I don't care about your customs here. What about just common courtesy? What about respect? Yes, I know you denied her these the last time you where there, but she knows exactly how you feel about her. All of this ignoring you isn't very attractive behavior for any young woman in my opinion.

The biggest issue you have however is the distance. You can't build a relationship if you can't actually spend time with her. She and I know this and it's time you got it figured out. If you're always going to be gone for extended periods of time (as in months or longer) you can't possibly build anything here. That takes being close to her. Technology does exactly the opposite of what you need right now. It strips away the emotional connection - it doesn't build it.

Sajith, unless you can be right there with her, I don't have good news for you. She's very likely to pick the guys that already are there instead of you.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
818.334.8826
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for reply MR.DENNIS.Now iam 100% confident to trust u.
sir,yersterday here celeberated eid and i have send a sms message and called her.she picked up the phone and talk to me only two words.that is iam fine and cut the phone.In these things, in future, any possiblity to get her.Is there any way to approach her through sms or by phone.Next time how to converse her by phone if she picks up the phone.Is any necessary to send a gift to reduce anger and increase impression towards me.If so what type of gift i have to send

Answer
Hello again Sajith!

Please stop doing this to yourself. You have focused all your energy on this one rude idiot. What's wrong that makes you think you deserve such rude, inconsiderate behavior? No, don't send her a gift. Instead, give her the gift if ignoring her completely and moving on. There are so many great women out there, why would you both wasting your time with someone like her? She's not worthy of you - or frankly, anyone. She has some severe mental issues and needs help that you can't possibly give her.

Trust me here Sajith - move on.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Remington Publications
BAM! TV
http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
Producers of "BAM! TV"