Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/17/2010

Question
Hello,

My name is Daniel. I don't really have much confidence or experience in the dating field. I tend to be in this everlasting habit of missing my chances. I lack the confidence to go up to a girl i like and just talk to her or asking her out. I always assume they will have a boyfriend or something.
Got any tips for me?

Thank you,

Daniel

Great website BTW.

Answer
Hello Daniel!

Tips? Tons and tons!

First of all, let's deal with the boyfriend issue. EVERY girl has a "boyfriend". That doesn't mean that the guy is her lover or the guy she's going to marry. Every girl has guys that don't know what they're doing so they hang around with the girl in hopes that she'll fall in love with him and do all his work for him. That way, he takes no risks.

The problem with this is that women know this stupid game all too well and use it to their advantage. They get these guys to run around doing things for them, entertaining them and especially acting like the boyfriend when the girls return absolutely nothing other than a little attention here and there just to keep him on the stick. Then, when some guy they want to be with comes along, they can claim they have a "boyfriend" trying to get him to man up and over-work to win her!

If and when such a guy does, she'll dump the "boy-friend" in a heartbeat.

Daniel, boyfriends - even "real" ones are absolutely no obstacle when you understand how the game is played. Women are always willing to "date up". It's far harder to keep a girlfriend than to steal someone else's for that reason.

To you missing chances - you bet your ass you are! You've missed a bunch you know about and probably 100 others you don't even realize. The reason for this is that you lack basic skills. Thus, you don't even know opportunities when they smack you in the face. You probably make excuses for the ones you've missed to justify why you couldn't approach them. Unfortunately, that's all these are: excuses.

Confidence. How often do I talk to guys that say the same thing? (Answer: every single day!) They claim to be "shy" or have "social anxiety" or any of a dozen other afflictions as though it's something they're cursed with by an outside, unknown force.

The reality is far simpler, and frankly, far more painful: laziness. These guys lack skills because they never got up off their asses to gain them. They hope that somehow, through magic or wishing or hoping or trial-and-error some other nonsense, that they'll just get it all figured out; or worse: that they'll just get lucky and have the girl of their dreams just fall into their laps.

What a total waste!

The reality is this: you need to approach these skills just as you approach your work or school life. This is a STUDY, not magic and not some special gift you're born with. It's only knowledge.

The great thing is this: once you gain this knowledge, your life changes completely. Most guys figure it's not worth it because they'll just somehow meet "the one" on their first try and then they won't need all that knowledge.

That's bullshit too because once you meet a girl, that's when your real work begins - not ends. You now have to do a ton of other right things in the right order to turn the approach and even the first few dates into something.

Now, the challenge: I can't teach you all these things via these messages! It takes entire books to not only give you these "tips" but to change all the mistaken beliefs you currently have. (The boyfriend problem is just one of many!) The good news is that's exactly what my books are designed to do.

You've seen the website, now I suggest you read through it and get started on your education with the books. There's no reason that by this time next month you can't already have met at least some of the women you're going to spend the rest of your life getting to know.

This is a problem of distance - about 15 centimeters to be exact. That's the distance between your ears. Fill it with something real and tangible and get this fixed once and for all.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
President/CEO
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Remington Publications
BAM! TV
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http://beingaman.com
http://beingaman.tv
Publishers of "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II"
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