Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 10/30/2010

Question
I wanted to start by saying thank you in advance i have read a few of your post and i think your advice is very sound.

Here is the situation.
I met this woman i literally have been dreaming about .
two months ago in the dream she was my wife i know this is the woman...

She works at a salon she smiles every time i walk in and walks up to me to ask questions flirts with her eyes constantly . I am not good at this so i did my best i know she is attracted to me and me to her but i was soo silly and nervously that i started rambling and she was flirting still when i came back but i made some silly comments because i was soo soo nervously how do i get over that when there are usually 10 woman in there super hot and they just stare i hate that feeling like a turtle in a shell .

I am very expressive her eyes have seen mine and she knows i think that i like her, further more i am not sure if she does like me after what i said but her eyes they grab me and she keeps looking at me and smiles then looks away.

I don't even know how to tell you how this feels but i cant shake what i said to her lol and i feel so silly .

I just want to take her out for a coffee and i don't know what to say or how to show i like her i think i was being a little arrogant when i met her because i wanted her to see my worth but i think i went a little far, I do like her an awful lot to just have met her our eyes locked big time please please give me advice as to how to approach her again . And is it ok to send flowers or is that creepy was going to have them sent from mystery man ?  

Answer
Hello John Paul!

The mistake many men make is thinking they have to have just the right line or approach or whatever to make a girl fall in love with them right from the beginning. This puts way too much pressure on these guys and they fumble around just like you did.

Don't do that! Keep this simple - and it will be! The very next time you go in there just walk up to her, say hi and then say, "You seem like a nice girl and I'd like to get to know you better." (Ok, that wasn't so hard, right?) Next say, "I don't want to bother you here at work, so let's have coffee this week." (or whenever)

Then, ask her to write down her number and pick and location a date to meet. It's really that simple.

Absolutely DO NOT send her flowers! Yes, it's creepy - just as any gift would be from a stranger. What has she done to earn that? Answer: nothing. Thus, it looks like you're trying to buy her.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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