Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/1/2010

Question
Let me say this as short as posible. Theres is this grl @ work which I would love 2 get to knw and prob b with and another grl I meet abt 7 yrs ago that really cought my attention. On my scale they r 10 and a 9. Now the 7 yrs ago grl I try to contact her after 5 yrs found her email and email her and took her to lunch 1 time but wasnt interested after that. now the 1 @ work I seen her twice she is like a secretary for my top boses so I dont get 2 go there just beacuse. I request her friend ship on facebook and sent her a message saying I really would like 2 get 2 knw her. but no answer bck And I knw she loged in her FB page. Its always the same problem with what I considder 10's or even 8's dunno why they loose interes. even the mother of my child I looke @ her like a 7's :(. How can I approach the 1 @ work or even have them 10's atracted 2 me and keep'em interested? why got 2 b so hard when at the end I be the one just punishing my self thinking of why or what went wrong?

Answer
Hello Andres!

Here's the problem: you've already blown it with the girl at work. You're not going to turn her around now.

In the future, don't friend a girl you're interested in on Facebook or anywhere else. Yes, I know that's what everyone else is doing - all the other people she won't date either! Never text or message or email someone asking to get to know them. That's what losers do - and hot girls instantly know to avoid these losers. Please don't be one of them!

Here's what's "hard" about all of this: you're trying to use tricks and play games and expect that if you just do it enough, these great girls will play along. They won't. Even 3's and 4's won't play along! Girls already know these games because they've had 50 other loser guys try to pull them before you. You're just acting like loser #51 to these girls!

You need a completely different plan. You need to stand out from that crowd and create value FIRST. Instead, what you're doing is giving these girls all the value instead and trying to work from there.

Think about this: if Brad Pitt or George Clooney or some other high-powered guy wanted to meet these girls, do you honestly think THEY would try to Facebook them or send them a message to try to get them to go out with them?

Of course not! They'd walk right up to her and say, "Get your coat, we're going to go have a drink."

I know you're not Brad or George, but the point is the same. You have to establish value UP FRONT. Not give it all away and then try to get it back. The problem is, you don't know how to do that. Thus, you're just another one in that huge pack.

Andres, I strongly urge you to read "Being a Man in a Woman's World I & II" so you can learn the skills of building this value - and then what to do with it when you get it. You need some new skills and a completely new way to think. Trust me on this: what you're doing is NEVER going to work - not even by accident and not even if the girl is drunk enough. That's what 95% of all the other guys out there think too - and you're just acting like one of them.

If you want to up the girls you can get, up your game. It's that simple.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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