Expert: Dr. Dennis W. Neder - 12/20/2010

Question
You see I've met thief girl and i have always thought she was beautiful and i even told her that from time to time i want her to like me and hangout with me but i am not sure how to go about that without being a weirdo i know a great deal about women and well this i just cant pull in its a first but i like her and just don't know how to get her to have eyes just for me can you help?

Answer
Hello Jake!

"Thief girl"??? What, did she steal your heart?    ;)

You've already made a huge mistake here (likely many of them). So you know a great deal about women? Too bad you don't know the RIGHT things about women.

You should never, EVER tell a woman you like her. Seriously. What's she supposed to do with that?

The reason why you did it was that you have absolutely no other game! You went to her, told her this and hoped that she'd just swoon, "Oh Jake! I feel the same way!" and then, you wouldn't have to take any other risks.

Now, look where you are.

Here's the real problem with all of this: you put all of your own power into her hands. It's this very power that she wants YOU to have - not take for herself. She wants you to do the right things and to actually be the man in all of this. What did you do? You told her (in "womanese") that you don't have that power, you don't have any skills or game and you don't really know what you're doing.

In other words, you don't have the skills to give her what she really wants and needs. Frankly, you may have totally lost any further chance with her.

I sincerely hope this isn't the case, but you're now going to have to step up and take all the risks you wouldn't take back when you did this.

Go to her (do NOT text her or email her!!!) and say, "Ok, it's time to get to know each other better. Which evening is better for you, Thursday or Friday?" [or whenever].

Then, get together with her, turn on the charm and try to actually build something here. Stop waiting and hoping that she'll do all your work for her. She won't. It's not her job - and she damn well knows it.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
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